My Little Bookworm - a chrollo x (FEM) reader fluff (SLOW UPDATES)

It's Sickening

A/N: (Hey, Carson here, Just wanted to remind you all that this is fluff, sorry to anyone who got excited by the art. Anyways, this one's gonna be a bit rough, so please prepare yourself cause we're gonna be talking about heavy topics here! I'll mark the triggers, but we're gonna be dipping our toes into some suicidal thoughts or actions (💥) and some possible depression  (💔) If you don't wanna be crying yourself to sleep or having to go to the hospital because of a panic attack, or if you just don't wanna hear this part, please skip to the "all clear" part of the story (🍭) without further ado, take care and let's get into this! >Carson)

Y/N POV

I heard a knock on my door at about 3 am, I pulled on a t-shirt and answered it, only to see Chrollo.

Y/N: You. 

C: Hi...

Y/N: What do you want?

C: I- Can't explain, so let me sum up... one of the troupe members is dead, and I'm looking for the killer... Can I come in?

Around this time, you realized what Chrollo was wearing, it wasn't his normal purple jacket with the fur trim you liked, but just a tight, black turtleneck shirt and black, dusty, ripped jeans. It seemed off to you, it reminded you of how he dressed back in Meteor City, but you pushed the thought out of your mind.

 He left you in Meteor City, and now he's looking for sympathy. He hasn't changed, simply woken up to life.

Y/N: I'll let you in, but answer my question first.

C: Anything, what is it?

Y/N: Why are you dressed like that? You haven't worn jeans and a turtleneck since you left Meteor City...

C: I had Machi make me clothes when I grew out of them, and these are the same clothes from Meteor City. It's the only thing I had, besides my jacket, but I left that at our hideout.

Y/N: I see. 

C: Will you let me in now?

Y/N: Maybe.

You walk into the room and sit on the bed, gesturing for Chrollo to sit next to you, which he does excitedly.

(💥 Suicidal Actions and Thoughts from here on out)

After talking for a while, his mood shifts, he leans forward and pushes his hair out of his face, only for it to fall back down. 

C: Y/N, do you love me?

Y/N: Of course I do, we grew up together, I love you like I did my father.

C: That's not what I meant, and you know that...

Y/N: I know what you're trying to say, let me put it better. Chrollo Lucilfer, I love you with every part of my heart, mind, body, and soul.

C: That's what I wanted to hear...

Chrollo walks to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror, you can see scratches on his cheeks and neck, it's like a sixth sense to you, you know he's in trouble, and you know what he's trying to do. 

Chrollo Lucilfer has a plan to commit suicide.

You walk over to him and put your arms around his waist, simultaneously checking for cuts and trying to comfort him. 

Y/N: I can see through that façade you've got going on sweetheart, and you know that don't you?

Chrollo nods.