fake (b.t.c.)

eight

"jules, please."
"what could you possibly say to make me stay?"
•••
"here." erika handed me a glass of wine, and we sat down on her couch. "tell me everything."
"what do you mean by everything?" i laughed. "we might be here all night."
"well, like, what all is stressing you out? and what's going on with you and kevin?"
i let out an exasperated little laugh. "what's not going on with me and kevin?"
her eyes widened. "oh, so there's history?"
"yeah."
"well, start at the beginning."
i took a deep breath. "we met two years ago, at the first production of the prom."
•••
two years earlier, atlanta
•
i slammed into the front doors of my hotel and sprinted down the streets, frantically waving for a cab. my first rehearsal was supposed to start soon, and i was cutting it just a little too close. a yellow car passed me without even slowing down, and i sighed in frustration, then ran after it. i neared the intersection, slowing down to check the crosswalk, and something-or someone-coming from my side knocked me to the ground. my binder with my script flew out of my hand and into a puddle.
"oh, shit, i'm so sorry." the boy who was still on top of me said.
i blinked a few times, and he got up, then held his hand out to pull me up.
wow. he's cute.
i shook my head. "no, it was my fault..." i trailed off, looking at my now soaked script. "that's great, isn't it." i grabbed it out of the puddle, and slimy street water dripped from the corners.
his eyes lit up when he saw the script. "the prom!"
"you've heard of it?" i raised my eyebrow.
"i'm in it." he smiled. "i was on my way to rehearsal, and i guess you were too."
my eyes went wide. "which we are now late for."
after a second of just looking at each other, we took off down the street together.
•••
present day, new york city
•
"and we just really hit it off right away. it kinda worked out perfectly, honestly. he played my prom date, so we kinda fell for each other during the show." i said.
"how soon did you guys started dating after that?" erika asked. my eyebrows knitted together as i thought for a minute. "i think three weeks. we got together pretty fast."
"so, what happened?" she took a sip of her wine.
"we both moved to new york. we weren't quite ready to move in together, but we had apartments down the block from each other."
"reasonable." she nodded.
"we dated for a year and a half, and then, six months ago, he just got really distant..." i swallowed. the subject still brought tears to my eyes.
•••
six months earlier, new york city
•
"kev!" i pushed his apartment door open and dropped my bag off by the door. "i just got back, i think my audition went really well."
there was no response.
"kev? kevin?"
his apartment was small, just a tiny loft, so i crossed the living room to where his bedroom was. the door was slightly ajar, and it creaked when i pushed it open.
i couldn't believe what i was seeing.
the girl he told me was his neighbor was on top of him, and they were making out like there was no tomorrow.
kevin shoved her off of him, and stood up quickly. "it's not-"
"not what it looks like?" i laughed. "yeah, i'm sure it isn't."
"jules, i thought we agreed that we would call before showing up-"
"why? so you could get your little girlfriend out of here?"
he ran a hand through his hair. "she's not-you're my girlfriend, jules."
i stepped back. "not anymore."
i tried to keep the angry tears from falling down my face, but it was no use.
"i'm just gonna go." i twisted the key to his apartment off of my key ring and tossed it to him. "i won't be needing this anymore."
he followed me out of the bedroom as i made my way towards the door. just as i was about to close the door, he grabbed my arm. "jules, please."
"what could you possibly say to make me stay, kevin?" i looked up at him, tears still in my eyes. he opened his mouth, just silence filling the space between us.
then,
"i love you."
•••
three months earlier, new york city
•
"can i tell you something, kev?"
the bitter new york cold nipped at my nose, and i pulled his hand up to warm my cheek.
"anything." he smiled. we sat on the roof of his apartment building, staring up at the barely visible stars.
i took a deep breath. "kev, i love you."
i heard a sharp intake of breath.
oh no. i thought. it was too soon. god, i can't believe i said it too soon.
"jules...i..." he trailed off.
nothing but silence filled the air for a few minutes.
"it's fine, you don't have to...i just thought..." i shook my head. "i'm sorry."
"no, no, don't be sorry." he said. "i just don't know if i'm ready."
"yeah, i, um, i get that." i stood up abruptly. "i have an early morning tomorrow, i'm going home." i hurried across the roof.
"jules!" kevin called as the door to the stairwell slammed.
•••
back to six months earlier, new york city
•
"i love you."
"i'm sorry, it's-it's too late." i pulled away from him and rushed down the hallway.