fake (b.t.c.)

fourteen

"go after him!"
"i-i think i need another drink."
•••
"it's been, like, over a week." erika said. "you guys still haven't talked about it?"
i shook my head, laying on her couch before her sunday night party. "i'm scared."
"julia, you can't just keep ignoring him. he's one of your best friends."
"i know, that's why i'm scared. i think i ruined our friendship."
"maybe." she shrugged. "but you'll never know unless you talk to him." she poked my cheek, causing me to groan and smack her hand away. "i think i need a drink."
•••
"ben!" erika waved him over to the circle of us sitting on the floor. "we're playing spin the bottle!"
he chuckled, sipping his beer as he sat down. "what are we, 15?"
i wasn't drunk yet, just tipsy enough to giggle at anything and make a few questionable decisions-like joining the game. some of the cast, however, were nearly blackout drunk, and kevin was one of them. the game started, and demarius and curtis kissed, and a few more people went before it was my turn. "julia!" erika nudged my shoulder. "you're up."
i saw ben look up, what seemed like a hopeful look in his eyes.
i took a deep breath and spun the bottle. it twirled for what seemed like forever before it landed on the one person i didn't want it to.
kevin.
erika's jaw dropped. "uh, that looks like it's in the middle, you can-"
"no, um, it's fine." i said. there were a few people between us, so i shifted forward a little bit, closed my eyes, and kissed him, then pulled away as soon as our lips touched.
ben cleared his throat. "i'm-i'm gonna get some air." he stood up and made his way to erika's fire escape. i watched him leave, and when i looked back to the circle, erika was looking at me expectantly.
"what?" i said, my voice lowered.
"go after him!"
"i..." i swallowed thickly. "i-i think i need another drink." i grabbed another beer from the cooler and stayed in the kitchen for a minute. soon after, footsteps came my way, and kevin came right up in front of me. "jules, i...um..." he wiped at his forehead. "i talk need...i need to talk-talk to you."
"you can certainly do that when you're not drunk out of your mind." i said, then tried to move past him, but he grabbed my arm. "i need to. please."
i hadn't even noticed ben come into the room until he was in between kevin and i, speaking calmly as usual. "man, come on." he patted kevin's shoulder. "why don't i get you home?"
kevin frowned, then nodded, his eyelids heavy. "yeah, sure, whatever." he slurred. ben pried his fingers off of my arm, then gave me a sad-looking smile as he and kevin left. i stood, frozen in the corner of the kitchen, drinking my shitty beer and trying not to think.