ACCOUNTANCY SERIES #1 - CHASE YOU NEVER

5

"Cleir, can we talk?" I just stared at him. Hindi ko alam bakit pero sobrang natatakot ako sa itsura n'ya ngayon. The cold person I know is colder today. It feels so indifferent. His eyes has no emotion at all.

Arc cleared his throat and then umiwas naman ng tingin si Cielo. Lumabas naman s'ya kaya sinundan ko nalang kung saan man s'ya pupunta. He stopped infront of a park. Naglakad s'ya papunta sa mga cottages, he offered me a seat so I accepted it.

Hindi ako komportable sa ganitong set up. Usually kasi, kahit walang nagsasalita sa amin habang nag-aaral, hindi kami ganito kaawkward.

"Kumusta?" I started the conversation habang nakatingin lang s'ya sa akin.

"Fine." Tipid n'yang sagot. Ang hirap basahin ng isip n'ya.

"Okay." Hindi ko na alam ano pa ang sasabihin ko. Ang tagal na rin kasi noong huli kaming nag-usap.

"You look happy." Actually, medyo masaya nga ang mga nakaraang araw. Palagi kong kasama si Arc. Minsan, pinupuntahan n'ya ako sa canteen para sabayang kumain, minsan naman sinasamahan ko s'ya sa library ng College of Engineering tapos doon nalang din ako mag-aaral.

"I hope so." Sana totoo nga na masaya ako. Kasi kahit anong gawin ko, there's a part in me na hindi masaya. I think it's my parents who made this.

"You look like a mess." I stared at him realizing that he has cuts on the side of his lips and eyebrow. Mukha s'yang restless.

"I'm sorry." Ha? Bakit n'ya kailangang mag-sorry? Wala naman s'yang ginawa? I mean, yes, we seldom talk but he always ensure me na we're just friends and hanggang doon lang talaga. He never did mislead me. He never gave mixed signals. So, alam ko na talaga na walang pag-asa kahit konti.

"Can you wait for me?" I was dumbfounded. Ano raw? Wait for him?

"Ha?" I was lost in words. Hindi ako sanay na kahit sa ganitong usapin ay straightforward pa rin s'ya.

"You know that we're friends right?" Binalik na naman n'ya ang topic na ananakit sa damdamin ko. Ano pa bang gusto n'yang sabihin? Tumango ako at tinikom nalang ang bibig ko. I shouldn't talk so much. It's his time to speak.

"Pumunta ako sa dorm n'yo kasi may pinahatid ang magulang ni Cielo. I wasn't sure na nandoon ka kaya pumunta nalang ako only to find out that you have a visitor."

"Manliligaw mo ba iyon? Maybe he treats you so well that's why you look happy." He said while looking away. Anong pinagsasabi nito? Pagkatapos n'yang sabihin na friends lang kami, ngayon, nagddrama naman s'ya. Mas komplikado pa s'ya sa tax e.

I didn't say anything ---- I was silently wishing na may kadugtong na magandang balita ang sasabihin n'ya.

"I also wan't to make you happy. Kaya lang, it's not the right time yet. My life's in chaos. I couldn't let you suffer because of me."

"Why would I suffer?" He's being so deep again. Pwede naman n'yang sabihin nang on point like he always do, bakit ang daming sugar coating this time?

"It's a long story. I tell you when we have a lot of time to waste.But for now, please answer my question. Do you like me?" I blinked thrice. I couldn't believe that he is back on being savage again!
"What?" I don't know what to say. I don't want to hurt myself and I don't want him to make his life more unbearable for him.

"Maybe. I don't know, I'm afraid to get hurt. I can't handle the pain." Honestly, I have never been into a relationship because I know how complicated it is. I don't want tosee myself crying in pain again just like how I felt when my parents left me with my lola.