WATCHING my husband eating the food that I cooked for him made me smile in happiness, secretly. It’s amazing that he still trust me to let me cook his food even though he didn’t trust me anymore. But I won’t let anything happen to him. Poisoning him didn’t even come in my mind because I still believed in God. I believed that he will look at me with disappointment if I did such unforgivable thing. Not that I think He will stop loving me. Only my husband stopped loving me.
No matter how many times I told myself that he wasn’t worth the love, my heart wouldn’t listen to me. I knew that I should listen to my brain but my heart always win. It always looked up to Arnold like his a god despite the bruises and broken bones that I received five times a week. I still love him, my own very protector that turned into a monster. My tormentor.
“A-Arnold…” I asked softly without meeting his eyes. He will be angry if he saw me looking at him. Looking at my eyes made him remember the betrayal that I did to him.
“What?” he answered coldly.
A shiver ran on my spine. I should be careful with my words because if I made a mistake, he will beat me. Unconsciously, I hid the purple marks on my arms. It still hurt but I will survive. I need to survive. Not for myself but for my child, Angel.
“M-may I borrow your phone? I wanted to order something for Angel. A cake perhaps. It’s her seventh birthday today if you don’t remember.”
Silence.
“It’s the bastard’s birthday today, huh?” I clinched my fist. Angel is not a bastard, you idiot! He’s your daughter! “No.”
I almost looked at his eyes but remembered. “Please, it will be short. After that, I will return the phone to you.”
He laughed. “Amethyst, I’m not that stupid to believe that excuse. You will call your man, right? You will ask for his help.”
How long will he believe that I have an affair with somebody else when in fact I didn’t have? “Arnold, I can make the call here in front. Just let me call the bakeshop. Angel really liked cakes. If you think that I am really calling the man whom you think was my man, then you are free to grab your phone.”
I waited for his answer…and waited. It seems like eternity. “Alright. Make the call here and after that, pleasure me.”
A sigh of relief escaped my lips and hide it with a cough. He tossed the phone. Giving no chance to change his mind, I punched some numbers. Those eleven numbers that I didn’t even dare to forget.
Ring.
Please pick up.
On the third ring, someone answered the phone. Thank you, God.
I cleared my throat to clear the emotions that was trying to surface. I must act cool. On the corner of my eye, Arnold was still eating.
“Good morning, Lilly. Oh, thank you. I will gladly tell Angel that you greet her a happy birthday. You really remember, eh? I know. I know.”
“Just tell her what you want, Amethyst. No need to have some pleasantries,” Arnold interjected.
“I’m sorry,” I said to my husband. I focused my attention to the phone. “Lilly, I’m sorry for the interruptions. Yes. Yes. You got it right. I want to order a chocolate cake for my daughter. How much was it?”
“Excuse me, madam?” the other line said. “This is not a bakeshop. This is Clinton Police Department.”
I braced myself. Arnold was making another serve of rice. “Two hundred pesos for chocolate cake? Goodness. Seems expensive but I will get it.”
