Vanilla (A Daisuga FanFic)

Guilt or Anxiety?

Sugawara's POV

As the ending credits played quickly, I felt myself get sleepy. I enjoyed today so much..I was happy. I could feel myself drifting to sleep.

"I'm going to sleep.." I whisper, loud enough for him to hear clearly. He kisses the top of my head, "goodnight, Sugar." I smile lightly, "goodnight."

"I love you." My smile got a little wider, "I love you too.." that burden was gone. Everything was gone...everything but one.

——————
I wake up, still in Daichi's warm embrace. I felt my stomach starting to turn the more I woke up. Anxiety and guilt was wrecking me.

——flashback: back to the hospital——

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay?" Munnsun asks, she was a friend I made in my class. She didn't find out I was in the hospital until she found out about finding locations.

I nod my head, "I'm really okay." I smile lightly, reassuring her. As she stands next to the door, I get up and walk towards her.

"Is everything okay with you?" She was the only friend I made in Tokyo. I was worried if I was bothering her. She shakes her head, "I'm sorry."

"For w-" she then kisses me, my eyes widen as I push her away. This is wrong. Really wrong.

"I-I'm sorry...!" She races out. I reached out but failed to stop her. This was wrong. It felt as if I was kissing a sister. Guilt and anxiety churned my stomach as the thought of Daichi came up. I run to the bathroom before throwing up. It didn't sit well. The thought of how hurt Daichi would be. Even if I didn't kiss back, it still felt so wrong to have the thought of lying to him. A nurse comes in, worried if I was relapsing back into the state I was when I first came here.

And that's why I only talked to Daichi for two days out of seven. I would let the phone ring out until it was sent to voicemail. I had excuses on why I didn't answer. I was afraid he'd leave. I was afraid...he'd yell. I was afraid he'd hit me...

———————

"Good morning, Sugar." Daichi says, embracing me tighter, getting me out of the flashback. I smile gently, "morning." I turn around so I was now facing his chest.

Get the thought out of your head. He'll know you're acting strange.

He started to play with my hair, which calmed me down. I was his right now and he was mine. That's all that matters, right..?

"How'd you sleep?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Better than last week." I smile lightly, "you?" I go back to shutting my eyes, "mhm.."

"Don't tell me you're going back to sleep." Daichi teases,I shake my head, "no, just shutting my eyes." I open my eyes again after I see an image in my head.

"Love?"

"Hm?" I look back up at him, he caresses my face with his thumb. I could feel myself getting a little flustered at the action, I smile lightly, "what do you want to do today?"

"Sleep..." I groan, shutting my eyes ever so slightly. He shakes his head, chuckling.

"I guess we can do that." He smiles. I smile lightly before shutting my eyes again, slowly drifting off to sleep again.

————————

Daichi's POV

As Suga falls back asleep, I play with his hair. His phone was going off, I didn't mind it until it buzzed for the fifth time. I slowly reach for it and read who it was, Naruse Mannsun?

'Hey, I'm sorry about last week..can we just forget it happened?' I look down at Suga sleeping, what happened last week?

'It was my fault. I didn't know what came over me. I'm really sorry, Kōushi.' I turn off the phone and lay back down. Last week? Came over them? What was he keeping from me? It might not be about me though...

———————

As we watch a movie on the couch, he gets a call by Naruse Mannsun. I nod my head as he walks outside. Outside the window you can see him smiling, laughing, and everything. He hangs up before walking back in, taking his seat again.

I had suspicions..but I can't falsely accuse him. He'd freak out...his anxiety would go crazy. He'd panic. I wouldn't want that. He came here to get away from anxiety...I can't let him feel as if he can never get away from it.

I intertwine his fingers with mine and he leans his head on my shoulder, I rest my head on top of his. His hand grips tighter once the more gory part of the movie comes up. He's always hated scary movies or movies with killing in it. He hated violence. I still have yet to find out about his past relationship and why he has PTSD of it.

"I hate you." Suga teases, shutting his eyes. I chuckle breathily, "I love you too, sugar."

Maybe another day.

——————end of chapter———————

zhfhdhd HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVERNOOO!!!!!! Anyways, hi.

Song- I'm Just Your Problem- Adventure Time

Words: 855

Finished- October 6, 2020

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