The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (male reader insert)

Chapter 5: Lake town

Gandalf: I started this, I cannot forsake them. They are in grave danger.
Radagast: If what you say is true, the world is in grave danger. The power in that fortress will only grow stronger.
Gandalf: You want me to cast my friends aside.
[as the company continue to float down the river in their barrels]
Thorin: Anything behind us?
Balin: Not that I can see.
Bofur: I think we've outrun the Orcs.
Thorin: Not for long, we've lost the current.
Dwalin: We almost half drowned!
Thorin: Make for the shore!
Dwalin: Aye.
Thorin: Come on, let's go!
[they reach the shore and get out the barrels]
[(y/n)falls to his knees from the wound in his leg, Bofur watches him]
(Y/n): I'm fine, it's nothing.
Thorin: On your feet.
Fili: (y/n) wounded, his leg needs binding.
Thorin: There's an Orc pack at our tail. We keep moving.
Balin: To where?
Bilbo: To the mountain, we're so close.
Balin: A lake lies between us and that mountain, we have no way to cross it.
Bilbo: So then we go around.
Dwalin: The Orcs will run us down as sure as daylight. We've no weapons to defend ourselves.
[to (y/n)]
Thorin: Bind his leg, quickly. You have two minutes.
[as Ori is getting rid of the water in his boots a bowman named Bard comes up behind ready to shoot his arrow, as he does so Dwalin intervenes and the arrow hits the piece of wood in his hand, Kili goes to throw a stone at him and Bard shoots it out of his hand with an arrow]
Bard: Do it again and you're dead.
[he points his arrow at them]
Balin: Excuse me, but um...you're from Lake-town, if I'm not mistaken? That barge over there, it wouldn't be available for hire by any chance?
[Bard goes down to his barge followed by the company]
Bard: What makes you think I would help you?
Balin: Those boots have seen better days, as has that coat.
[Bard starts putting the barrels the dwarves were carried in onto his barge]
Balin: No doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed? How many bairns?
Bard: A boy and two girls.
Balin: And your wife, I imagine, she's a beauty?
[Bard hesitates a moment]
Bard: Aye, she was.
[Balin's face drops as he realizes what's he's just said]
Balin: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Dwalin: Oh, come on, come on. Enough with the niceties.
Bard: What's your hurry?
Dwalin: What's it to you?
Bard: I would like to know who you are, and what you were doing in these lands.
Balin: We are simple merchants from the Blue Mountains, journeying to see our kin in the Iron Hills.
Bard: Simple merchants, you say?
Thorin: We need food, supplies, weapons. Can you help us?
Bard: I know where these barrels came from.
Thorin: What of it?
Bard: I don't know what business you had with the elves, but I don't think it ended well. No one enters Lake-town but by lead of the master. All his wealth comes from trade with the Woodland realm. He would see you in irons before risking the wrath of king Thranduil.
[Bard gets into his barge and throws the rope to Balin, Thorin indicates for Balin to persuade him to help]
Balin: I'll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen.
Bard: Aye. But for that you would need a smuggler.
Balin: For which we would pay double.
[this perks up Bard's interest]
[as the Orcs led by Bolg continue to search for the dwarves, Legolas and Tauriel bring the surviving Orc, Narzug, before Thranduil]
Thranduil: Such is the nature of evil. Out there in the vast ignorance of the world it festers and spreads. A shadow that grows in the dark. A sleepless malice as black as the oncoming wall of night. So it ever was. So will it always be. In time all foul things come forth.
[as he holds his sword by the Orc's neck]
Legolas: You were tracking a company of 14,thirteen dwarves including 1 man. Why?
Narzug: Not Fourteen, not anymore.
[looking at Tauriel]
Narzug: The young one, the blackhead archer, we stuck him with a Morgul shaft. The poison's in his blood, he'll be choking on it soon.
[Tauriel looks visibly struck by this new revelation about (y/n)]
Tauriel: Answer the question, filth.
Narzug: [subtitled] I do not answer to dogs, She-Elf!
[Tauriel gets out her sword]
Legolas: I would not antagonize her.
Tauriel: You like killing things, Orc? You like death? Then let me give it to you!
[suddenly Tauriel goes to strike Narzug with her sword but Thranduil stops her]
Thranduil: [subtitled] Enough! Tauriel, leave! Go now.
[reluctantly Tauriel walks off]
Thranduil: I do not care about one dead dwarf. Answer the question, you have nothing to fear. Tell us what you know and I will set you free.
Legolas: You had orders to kill them, why? What is Thorin Oakenshield to you?
Narzug: The Dwarf runt will never be King!
Legolas: King? There is no King under the mountain, nor will there ever be. None would dare to enter Erebor Whilst the dragon lives.
Narzug: You know nothing. You're world will burn.
Legolas: What are you talking about? Speak!
Narzug: Your time has come again. My master serves the one. Do you understand now, *Elfling? Death is upon you. The flames of war are upon you.
[as Narzug starts to laugh suddenly Thranduil extracts his sword and quickly decapitates his head]
Legolas: Why did you do that? You promised to set him free.
Thranduil: And I did. I freed his wretched head from his miserable shoulders.
[as Narzug's body is twitching Thranduil uses his foot to stop it moving]
Legolas: There was more the Orc could tell us.
Thranduil: There was nothing more he could tell me.
[Thranduil turns to walk off]
Legolas: What did he mean by the flames of war?
Thranduil: It means they intend to unleash a weapon so great it will destroy all before it.
[as he walks off]
Thranduil: I want the watch doubled at our borders, all roads, all rivers. Nothing moves but I hear of No one enters this kingdom and no one leaves it.
[he stops to look at Legolas for a moment before turning to walk off; as Legolas walks towards the guards by the gates]
Legolas: [subtitled] Close the gate! Keep it sealed by order of the King.
Elros: [subtitled] What about Tauriel?
Legolas: [subtitled] What about her?
Elros: [subtitled] She went into the forest armed with her bow and blade. She has not returned.
[the Orcs find the trail of the company by finding remnants of (y/n) blood left on the stony shore]
Hunter Orc: [subtitled] Man blood! They were here!
Bolg: [subtitled] There is another scent...
[he takes a sniff]
Bolg: [subtitled] Man flesh!
[Bolg looks across the lake]
Bolg: [subtitled] They have found a way to cross the lake.
[as they cross the lake on Bard's barge they go through a mist after which they nearly hit the large stone coming out from the water]
Bofur: Watch out!
[Bard goes smoothly past the stones]
Thorin: What are you trying to do? Drown us?
Bard: I was born and bred on these waters, Master Dwarf. If I wanted to drown you, I would not do it here.
Dwalin: Oh, I've had enough of this lippy lake-man. I say we throw him over the side and be done with him.
Bilbo: Oh, Bard. He's name's Bard.
Dwalin: How do you know?
Bilbo: Uh...I asked him.
Dwalin: I don't care what he calls himself, I don't like him.
Balin: We do not have to like him, we simply have to pay him.
[Balin counts their coins]
Balin: Come on, now, lads. Turn out your pockets.
[the dwarves reluctantly look for coins in their pockets]
Dwalin: How do we know he won't betray us?
Thorin: We don't.
[as Balin finishes counting their coins]
Balin: There's um...just a wee problem. We're ten coins short.
Thorin: Gloin, come on. Give us what you have.
Gloin: Don't look to me. I have been bled dry by this venture! What have I seen for my investment? Naught but misery and grief and...
[as he talks Gloin notices the other dwarves' attention is caught by something and then we see that through the mist they can see a closer view of the Lonely Mountain]
Gloin: Bless my beard.
[immediately Gloin takes out his sack of coins]
Gloin: Take it. Take all of it.
[as Gloin hands the coins to Balin Bilbo clears his throat in warning to let them know Bard is walking over to them]
Bard: The money, quick. Give it to me.
Thorin: We will pay you when we get our provisions, but not before.
Bard: If you value your freedom, you'll do as I say. There are guards ahead.
[the company all look ahead of them towards the port ahead]
[when they reach the port we see the company has hidden in the barrels now piled in Bard's barge]
Dwalin: Ssh. What's he doing?
[looking through the hole in his barrel]
Bilbo: He's talking to someone. He's pointing right at us. Now they're shaking hands.
Thorin: What?
Dwalin: He's selling us out.
(Y/n): No he is not now quiet!.
[as they hear footsteps approaching suddenly a pile of fish starts landing on top of the dwarves in each barrel, later as Bard continues their journey to Lake-town we see each barrel is filled with fish, Bard hears dwarves moaning in the barrels]
Bard: Quiet! We're approaching the toll gate.
[as they approach the town gate]
Percy: Halt! Goods inspection. Papers please!
[as he steps out of his lodging]
Percy: Oh, it's you, Bard!
Bard: Morning, Percy.
Percy: Anything to declare?
Bard: Nothing. But I am cold and tired, and ready for home.
Percy: You and me both*looks at (y/n)* and who are you.
(Y/n): Oh just Traveler, This man was nice enough to give me a ride to lake town, Always wanted to see this place.
Percy: Well there really isn't much but welcome.
[Barf then hands Percy his paper which Percy then stamps and offers it back to Bard]
Percy: There we are, all in order.
Alfrid: Not so fast.
[he takes the paper from Percy and starts reading from it]
Alfrid: Consignment of empty barrels from the Woodland realm.
[pointing to the barrels]
Alfrid: Only they're not empty. Are they Bard? If I recall correctly, you're licensed as a bargeman. Not...