Only For You

~ chapter six ~

Silence filled the valley as the sun rose over the shores of Avalon. No birdsong filled the air, nor were there any cars driving in the distance. There was no fire, no city, no screams that ripped through the
very essence of his soul like a knife. It was silent. Calm. Peaceful, and that somehow made it worse.

Merlin stayed on his knees, staring out across the lake, as he gathered his words.

He was no longer sure there was anyone he was even speaking to. He was no longer sure there was a Once and Future king after all. Maybe they were all right. Maybe he was just a crazy person who owned a bookshop. Maybe this was all in his head. The only thing that had him holding onto the fact it was real were the screams that filled his find. The heat that he felt on his skin, scorched by the flames. The pain he had felt over the numerous years he was alone.

He couldn’t be alone anymore.

He wasn’t strong enough.

“I’m sorry, Sire. I tried. I tried to save them, to save Albion, I truly did,” The figure paused, tearing up as he stood up besides the water’s edge. “For fifteen hundred years, I’ve waited for your return. I’ve
tried my best to keep your kingdom alive, to use my gifts for the greater good so that one day, when you return, the people would be loyal to you once more. All I ever wanted was for you to return. I just had to be patient, look over your kingdom, and when Albion’s need was at its greatest, you
would rise again. It was our destiny, written in the stars. Or, I thought it was. But now the world has fallen into chaos. And it’s all my fault.

“I couldn’t wait for you any longer, Arthur. I couldn’t keep walking alone amongst the countless generations of people that have come and gone. Time went by, and I couldn’t keep my promise. I failed. Albion is in chaos, if there even is an Albion here anymore, and it’s all my doing. For hundreds of years, I could sense you. Every time I stood here; I knew I was talking to you. I no longer know that. It’s lonely here. For so long, I had to hide who I was out of fear of execution. I thought that after my secret was out, I would never feel such loneliness again. But now I do. And I can’t go on. I’m not strong enough, my Lord.”

The man stood up, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he began walking into the depths of the lake.

He reached below the surface and pulled a sword from Avalon’s depths. The sun’s rays shining off the blade as he held it in front of him.

“Goodbye, My Lord.”

The figure’s eyes flashed gold as he brought the weapon towards himself, and then empty. A faint vreath escaped his lips as the bloodied sword fell from his hand, hitting the water with a splash. He fell back, eyes closing as he sunk under the surface, succumbing to the darkness he never thought he would experience. Memories of his life started flooding his mind. The past years fading into nothing as he was brought back to times of happiness. Times of knights in shining armour, and nights spent
with Arthur under the stars. Faces flew past his eyes. Lancelot and Gwen and Gaius and Gwaine and then all the knights of the round table, fighting their last stand in the Battle of Camlaan.

His memories turned sour; he saw Mordred fall. Smiling, as Arthur stumbled towards safety, his armour pierced and bloodied. He saw Gwaine in his last moments, blaming himself for the fall of Camelot. He saw Morgana, as she tried to do what she thought was right, against even the goodness of her own heart – Trying to live up to the expectations left by her sister and her kind.

He remembered telling Arthur of his magic, and the look of fear in his friend’s eyes. Kilgarrah telling him the prophecy that would fuel him for centuries to come. And Arthur. With his smile, and his eyes,
Arthur was someone he thought he would never forget. Yet in his final moments, as he landed on the bottom on the lake, under masses of water and surrounded by emptiness, he lost hope that Arthur was still around to hear him.