Summer

Chapter 37

My head's still pounding from last night. I'm trying to reconcile what I want versus what I should want when it comes to Noah. Maybe some food in my system will help.

The dining room smells of deliciousness when I walk in, despite the fact that I don't have much of an appetite. Allison whipped up a mixed salad, flatbread pizza, and some grilled veggies. I help myself to a small plate and take the seat in between Liam and Jacob.

"You got home late last night," Liam says as I sit down. After Michael's, Justin dropped me off at Cassie's and I had dinner with her family. It was the only way I could cool down before making it home to my brothers. I also caught her up on everything that happened with Noah.

"Yeah," is all I make out.

"How was dinner at Cassie's?" Liam asks, but I'm not in the mood to play 21 questions.

"Good," I say as I fiddle around my veggies. I can feel Liam's eyes on me, but I don't want to look up. "Dare I ask what's wrong?" he continues, but I don't know how to answer. Luckily, I don't have to when Jacob cuts in and saves me.

"It's my fault, actually," Jacob says. "I fucked up. I told Fee I'd take care of something for her, but I forgot and now she's pissed." That's a lie if I ever heard one, but I get what Jacob's doing, and I appreciate it. I know Liam's gullible so he's going to believe it.

"You're an asshole," he tells Jacob before turning to me. "Is it something that I can help with?"

"Uh, no," I fumble as I look from Liam to Jacob, who's nodding his head at me like I should just go with it. "I took care of it. Thanks, though."

I owe Jacob for having my back. He knows something's bothering me, but he also knows not to bring it up in front of Liam. So, when Liam's not looking, I quickly mouth a 'thank you' to Jacob.

"Ah, I gotta take this," Liam says when his cellphone goes off. "Be right back."

Liam leaves the room and I try avoiding eye contact with Jacob because I know it's only a matter of seconds until he starts asking questions.

"So, you gonna tell me what's really bothering you?"

See...

"That obvious, huh?"

"Fee, besides you being my sister, you're my best friend. I know when you're upset before you do. So, what's going on? Talk to me," he says, and I let out a deep sigh before spilling.

"You can't say anything to Liam."

"You have my word."

"I saw Noah last night. And I was with him the night before. We've been hanging out. A lot actually." Jacob weirdly doesn't seem fazed by my confession, so I ask: "Why don't you look surprised?"

He chuckles before responding. "I mean, I'm not not surprised, but I see the way he looks at you; like he wants you — and not the same way I wanted that red-head from a couple of nights ago. He looks at you like he really wants to be with you."

"Well, that's where you're wrong. Noah doesn't want to be with me the way that you think he does. He wouldn't even know how to."

"Did he say that to you?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what makes you think that?"

"From what his friend said. You know that girl Cecilia?"

"Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that you're taking advice from a girl who dresses like a hooker? That's your source, Fee?"

"Well, yeah, and Cassie also implied it."

"I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I love Cassie, but you're listening to two girls who've never been in a relationship with the guy."

"It doesn't matter, Jacob, they know him. Longer than I do."

"C'mon Fee. There's a difference between knowing someone and actually knowing someone. So they grew up in the same town? Big deal. That doesn't mean anything. You can spend one day with someone and know his entire life story better than someone who's spent a thousand days with that person. And, I don't know much about your time with Noah, but what I do know based on how upset you are right now is that you two must have had a connection."

"We did, but it doesn't matter anymore." I hate how pessimistic I sound, but I'm trying to be practical. 

"Why doesn't it matter?

"We're from two different worlds," I explain, and if anyone can understand where I'm going with this, it's Jacob. Back when he was 15, mom and dad made him breakup with his girlfriend of 6 months because she wasn't 'good enough' for him.

"Let me guess. Those were Cecilia's words."

"And Cassie's," I state as if that makes it more acceptable. "If things were to ever get more serious with Noah, mom and dad would freak. You know that."

Jacob shakes his head. "Why does it have to be their way or no way? I don't get it. What? Because we have money and access to things that people don't, that makes us better?" The last thing I meant to do was rile Jacob up, but I get why he's frustrated.

"I'm with you Jacob, I get it."

"So, if you get it, Fee, then do something about it. For once in your damn life, do something for yourself. Don't think about what anyone else wants."

"I know," I nod my head and say. "You're right."

"I don't care about being right. I care about you. Everything will fall into place someway, somehow, just like it's meant to. If you let it. And, until then, I'll by your side."

I can't help but smile at his words. Jacob's right, and I don't think twice about the next move that I make.