Summer

Chapter 45

I shut my eyes in the hopes that the heat of the sun will allow me to rest, but I'm having a hard time sitting still. That is, until I notice a silhouette walking from the house door towards the pool.

"For you," Jacob stops in front of me and says, handing me a cup of tea.

"Thanks," I half-smile and say, placing it on the side table.

"Cassie told me what happened," Jacob says as he sits down on the adjacent lounge chair. "How are you doing?"

My jaw locks. I don't know what to say. "How do you think?"

"I think it's my fault," he sighs. I have no idea what he means, so I give him a confused look. "I mean I encouraged you to pursue this thing with Noah when you were having doubts. I should've been more practical. I shouldn't have been so emotional. It's just — I know how you feel, you know? And it killed me to see my sister feel that way. I guess I was hoping for a better ending."

"Hey. Don't do that. Don't apologize." I shake my head. "Gosh, I'm so sick of people apologizing. And I'm so sick of apologizing. What are we even apologizing for?" Jacob looks at me, expressionless. "Jacob, you inspire me to want to be better for myself. You should never feel bad about that."

"It just makes me so mad that you can't have the life that you want for yourself. It makes me even more mad that Liam comes off like he doesn't want that for you when we both know that he really does. He just let's this stupid shit get in the way. Mom and dad really messed him up."

"Yeah, I know," I look down and say. I reach for the cup of tea and twirl the bag around before taking a few sips, hoping that the warmth will calm my anxiety. "Well, I appreciate you coming out here. It means a lot to me."

"I'm here for you always, Fee. Remember that."

"I haven't forgotten," I smile.

Jacob and I lay by the pool for a few more hours before he has to go inside and change. Uncle Robert's taking him and Liam out for some male bonding time. What that entails, I can't tell you, but I don't care. I'm just happy to have the house to myself tonight.

On tonight's agenda: a pizza pie, followed by Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream, followed by episodes of Dawson's Creek on my laptop.

***

I'm at the kitchen island working on my writing assignment when Jacob and Liam walk in at the same time. They're both wearing black jeans and slim-fit cotton shirts with white Common Projects sneakers. It's scary how much they look alike sometimes. 

"You going to be okay tonight?" Jacob asks, and I know that Liam wants to say something to me, but he's holding back.

"I'll be fine," I assure him.

"Uncle Robert warned us that it's going to be a long night, so, if you want to call Cassie and invite her over, you can," Liam finally speaks up, but it's obvious that he's treading lightly.

"Thanks. Maybe I will."

Knowing Uncle Robert, he's definitely taking the boys for drinks first, then to some fancy restaurant that only serves 5-course meals, and back to another bar for round 2.

Uncle Robert doesn't get drunk, but boy does that man love a good martini. He invited me to tag along, but to be honest, I could use the alone time.

A couple of minutes later, headlights glare through the kitchen window and Uncle Robert honks twice to let my brothers know that he's here.

"We'll see you later, Fee," Jacob says as he grabs his denim jacket from the closet.

"Call us if you need anything," Liam adds on before they both head out.

"Have fun," I say as my eyes follow them to the door.

An hour later, I decide that I'm done writing for the night and place a delivery order from the local pizza shop Antonio's. It takes about 45 minutes for the food to arrive, but it was definitely worth the wait. I ordered two extra pies for the house staff and let them know that it was waiting for them in the kitchen before grabbing a pint of ice cream from the freezer and heading to my room.

After watching one of my favorite episodes of Dawson's Creek — you know, the one where Pacey confesses his love for Joey? — I decide to invite Cassie over. She lets me know that she'll be here within the next hour.