Summer

Chapter 43

When we make it home, I don't even bother saying goodnight to Liam. He doesn't say anything either.

I pass Jacob's room and notice that the lights are still on, which makes me wonder if he knows what happened.

I change into my pajamas, rinse my face, and crawl into bed. I grab my phone that's charging on the nightstand and contemplate calling Noah, but when I turn the screen on, I notice that I have a missed call from Cassie. I take that as my sign not to dial Noah.

"Hey," Cassie picks up on the first ring.

"Hi," is all I manage to say back.

"You okay?"

I let a few seconds of silence settle in before I respond, "No."

"Fee, I'm so sorry. You texted me that you were coming home and when I didn't hear from you, I called and texted, but you didn't answer. I wanted to drive to Noah's but I forgot where he lived so I called Justin and he didn't pick up and then...I don't know...I started to panic. I thought something might have happened to you. Then Liam called me and asked to speak to you because you weren't responding to his texts, and I just, I don't know...I don't know what I was thinking when I told him you were at Noah's. All I know is that I'm so sorry."

I try to cut in, but Cassie keeps going. At the end of the day, what happened tonight isn't her fault. It's not Justin's, it's not Noah's, it's mine, which is why I won't let Cassie feel guilty for this.

"Cass, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I knew what I had to do from the beginning, and I kept putting it off thinking that I could avoid something bad from happening. The only person at fault here is me. You were just trying to be there for me. And, now, all I want to do is be there for Noah, but I can't even do that. I don't want you to feel bad, really, I don't, but I'm tired and just want to sleep. Do you mind if we talk tomorrow?"

"Not at all. I'm here for you always. Love you, Fee."

"Love you, Cass." I'm about to hang up when I remember that her car is still at Noah's house. "Oh, and I'll have someone pick up your car from Noah's house tomorrow morning."

I end the call and my head hits the pillow. I keep my eyes closed for as long as I can before finally drifting off into a sleep.