Please... make it stop... it hurts... | Depressed Deku AU

Chapter Twelve

I'm sorry in advance, had to get my feelings out somewhere.

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Third person

Izuku Midoriya lay in his plain hospital room, staring blankly at the plain white walls. Unable to fall asleep.

'Am I really that much of a waste of space? Why can't I ever do ANYTHING to help someone? All I do is hurt people! Why am I so useless!?' He thinks as tears steam down his face. His mind was racing with questions and he had so many feelings. 

He cried silently. the warm tears wetting the bedsheets.

 His face contorts in pain as he thinks of how much of a waste he was. All he can think about was what a sweet relief death would bring. 

He missed the cold blade of this knifes on his arms, and longed for the burning sensation of the metal blade meeting his arm.

He didn't feel like he was himself, but a mere imitation of what he used to be. Happiness seemed like a distance memory, almost like a friend you haven't seen in a while but know you will never see again.

This saddens dear Izuku.

"Please... someone... make it stop..." He stutters out through his tears, he could barely hear his voice through the voices in his head screaming at him. "I-I can't take it... It hurts..." 

The pain in his chest that has been building up for the past couple days finally reaching an unbearable level. He longed for pain, anything to take this goddamn feeling away. 

'Does this make me a freak for wanting nothing more then to cause myself pain? Am I a monster..?' 

He shakily sat up, his feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Then he pushed himself up into a standing position. 

His trembling made it hard to stay standing, and he felt like falling a few times but he remained standing none the less.

 He took a few deep breaths as an attempt to calm himself down enough to begin walking. He had one thought in mind while he walked. 

'I need to get to the roof'

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His face displayed no obvious emotion, and he honestly didn't feel anything. he just felt numb. He tried to ignore this horrible feeling by focusing on his own footsteps. He counted ever step he made, it's not like he could do anything else. 

'Nothing I do will matter... I might as well end it now... no point wasting anyone else's time...' he thought as he laughed to him at how pathetic he is.

"I'm actually committing SUICIDE, how pathetic can I get?! Right when you think you can't get anymore pathetic you get even more! HA! I guess Bakugo was right all along...' 

He briefly paused before opening the door to the one way ticket out of this world, or the roof. 

One thought came to his mind that made him cringe in pain

'why don't you go take a swan dive off the roof, maybe you'll be born with a quirk in your next life.'

He opened to door to the roof. It made a Creak sound, but Izuku just walked onto the platform on the roof.

It was about 3 am, the sky was dark. It took a little bit for Izuku to adjust to the darkened area, but once he did he quickly looked around the wide open space, looking for the best place to jump. 

Izuku was on the top of 46 story hospital building and he knew that no matter where he jumped he would die. So in the end, does it really matter where he jumped? was what Izuku Thought briefly before shrugging it off.

He wasted no time and quickly climbed over the safety rails. 

'This is really it, huh? I'm finally gonna do it... This pathetic and wasteful existence will finally be over...'The thought of death made Izuku's mind fill with tons of questions, like;

'what does death feel like?' 

'Will it really be as peaceful and warm as some people say?'

Izuku had always been dying of curiosity to get those answers. And to think now Izuku was going to get them. 

He was excited... and also immensely scared. He doesn't really want to jump, a part of him desperately wants to live. But he just can't take the pain that living brings, and would rather be dead. 

Between the bullying, Bakugo, being quirkeless, and the constant thoughts he just couldn't take it anymore. And, of course, this just makes him feel even more pathetic. 

He looks over the building, being careful not to fall. He sees the bright lights of the city dancing and illuminating the dark sky, it was actually quite beautiful. the night was rather quiet, Izuku was glad that his would be his last moment alive.

The cold night air felt refreshing, and it blew Izuku's hair around making the messy mop of hair even more messy.

Finally he took in a final deep breath and jumped. 

As he plummeted towards the ground His final thought is 'I can't believe it's finally over... I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment...' 

Just as Izuku was about to hit the ground.

 He was falling

Fast

Is this the end?

Right as he was about to hit the ground 'WHOOSH' and his fall came to a abrupt stop, by a single hand making contact with his left arm.

Izuku was saved. but, just barely in time.

"What the fuck?"

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>_< 

I said sorry in advance. 

I know this got really dark. 

Sorry.

It's just 3 am and I have a lot of emotions right now, I need to put hem somewhere. sorry again for torching this little bean.

welp night!

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