She's Got a Way - Billy Hargrove

Chapter Eleven

The next week was difficult, an intricate balancing act in which Billy spent most of his time jumping between Elizabeth, school and his family. Everyday he would check on Lizzy before school to see if she was ready to go back, bring her work that she was missing and attempt to keep his dad off his back. It was exhausting, but worth it. Each day Elizabeth was learning how to work alongside the loss instead of trying to fight against it.

Although to the unknowing eye she was showing signs of improvement, Billy could see that she still wasn't okay. All she did was catch up on work because if she threw herself into school work then nothing else could go wrong. Newton's third law of motion states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Basic physics. When life gets bad something good has to happen to restore balance to the universe. She refused to let anything get any worse before something good happened, so she wouldn’t do anything else; she wasn't eating enough and barely slept unless Billy forced her to lie down with him. Even if he did get her to sleep, Lizzy would wake up an hour later and refuse to lie back down. Knowing that she was just trying to deal with her dad being gone, Billy didn't get frustrated with her, he just made sure that she was safe and didn't accidentally overdose on caffeine. So the day Billy went around and found Elizabeth asleep with all her school work splayed across the floor was the day he knew something bad had happened.

Quietly he kicked off his shoes and laid on the bed next to her, he could feel heat radiating off her. Softly, he placed his arm over Elizabeth, pulling her in so her back was against his chest. He felt her grab his hand and squeeze it softly. Pressing a kiss on her shoulder, Billy relaxed slightly causing Liz to do the same. He just laid there while she slept, running his fingers along her arm. Such small acts of intimacy didn't happen often in Billy's life. It was a lot of meaningless passion and empty promises but with Liz it seemed different. Whenever she was around everything just seemed warmer, softer. 

Billy was quickly pulled out of his thoughts when Elizabeth flinched slightly and grabbed his hand tighter. Her breathing was faster than usual and she was cowering slightly. 

"Hey, hey, you're okay, it was just a dream." Billy whispered softly. Lizzy turned over, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, he could tell she was crying again, she seemed to do that a lot more lately. Gently, he ran his hands through her soft hair until she calmed down. He hated seeing her like this, it hurt him, all he wanted to do was fix her. It was the first time he had ever felt like this towards another person and it terrified him how much he cared about her. 

"What's happened baby?" Billy muttered, resting his chin on her forehead. Feeling the grip tightening on his shirt he could’ve swore he heard her mutter something. Pulling away from the hug he looked at her slightly confused before softly placing his hand against her face, his thumb wiping away her tears. Her eyes were bloodshot and sunken, she just looked exhausted.

Sitting up Elizabeth grabbed her notebook from her desk. Rubbing her eyes slightly she attempted to focus on the pages but her brain just felt foggy. Billy sat up placing his warm hand on the bottom of her back. Clicking her pen Lizzy began to write, Billy couldn’t help but study her face, how sad she looked. Desperately trying to hold on, trying not to fall into the void. He could see the struggle, he recognized the battle but she was stronger than he ever was. Once she had finished writing she looked over at Billy who was reading what she wrote.

Dads funeral. Aunt and uncle went without me. Newton is a lying bitch. There is no opposite and equal, just big sad and less sad. 

Resting her head on Billy's shoulder Elizabeth felt like there was a car parked on her lungs. Sadness had taken over her body, camping out in her chest where there simply was not enough space. Each breath was so much effort. It took so much energy to do anything, and Elizabeth just did not have that kind of energy left. Her brain couldn't cope with the amount of feelings she had so manifested every feeling into physical pain. It was like being kicked repeatedly; winded each and every time she had to breathe. 

Billy sighed resting his head on hers, rapping his arm around her. He knew that she was sad, he could feel it radiating off her but he just didn’t know how to fix it and it's not as if she could tell him. A comfortable silence filled the room, the two of them seemed to just slot together perfectly as the world fell apart around them. 

That was until there was a harsh knock on the door.

hello again! sorry about slow updates.
this whole pandemic wasnt really easy so I kinda tapped out but I'm trying to get back into writing.
and sorry about the shortness of the chapter but hopefully they'll get longer! feedback is very appreciated!
again, sorry!