Eating Disorder. [NH AU] III

» 09.

 the next morning came quickly. it was the start of a new me, i was gonna try and bring the old popular, funny, bubbly niall back. this pessimistic, body image concerned one was pretty boring and sometimes it's gets quite sad being so alone all the time. i looked around the cafeteria for liam, because it would be nice to sit with someone i knew on my first day of turning over a new leaf. he wasn't anywhere to be seen, however. that's strange.

i headed over to the area where you get served food and i gulp nervously as i see the high amount of it everywhere. wow. i really didn't think this through.

"what can i get for you, sonny?" the old dinner lady asked me and i'm still skimming over the selection of fattening, high in calories food. i can't eat this, though i need to, i can't. i may have promised myself so i can't exactly go back now, can i? urgh.

"um. a fruit bowl and some porridge please." she blinks a few times at my selection of the most healthiest foods before handing it to me. maybe she was expecting me to order everything, because of the size of my weight. well take that dinner lady, take that.

i look around the cafeteria one last time for liam's very handsome face, but he still wasn't anywhere to be seen. instead i take the only free table at the back of the cafeteria. alone. what a sad life? what a way to start my new leaf?

but i wasn't alone for very long. tyler ross hovers over me, glancing at my food for a split second then he catches my eyes. his brown eyes are still dull, but not as lifeless as previously. he has a small ish smile on his face, but really it's is petite. you could even think it was an illusion.

"can i sit?" he nods to the empty seats around me on the massive table i have to myself. if i refuse it would really look weird.

"yes, of course." i tell him and he perches himself down next to an empty seat that was between us. i'm glad he didn't sit exactly beside me, that'd be awkward.

"i'm sorry for what i said to you before, it was really bad of me. i just haven't been myself recently. i've been really on edge all the time and on top of that, i'm getting sick of everything. i'm tired of living. i'm wasting my life away by being cooped up here. i really don't know why i'm here, accept the fact i got forced. my parents wanted me to get better, i most certainly didn't. eating sucks. it's annoying, just want to cut it would my life forever. i mean if i had a girlfriend and we were on a date together, it would suck because when i eat i throw up. it's just this thing. i don't chose to throw up, it just happens. that's why i'm here."

wow. he's just loaded me with so much in such a little time. he must really trust me, and i'm probably his only friend here. i better be nice back, due to the fact i'm being the old niall again.

"i'm sorry to hear that, i'm always here for you buddy." he laughs lighty.

"mate, aren't i older then you? i'm almost eighteen."

"yeah, i'm almost sixteen." i tell him and he nods his head in an understanding way.

"teenage years are the absolute worst. like when you're older i'm sure you're able to understand and grasp your hormones, but now we're all insane and confused. especially with this expectation to be perfect all the damn time. it's suffocating." he has a good point there though.

"yeah." i nod my head, not really following the plan to be the old me. i need to try harder, "so how long have you been in here for?" i take a sip of water because my throat is starting to feel quite sore.

"around a year now."

and i spit take all the water in my mouth, onto his face.