1. Falling for Noah (Completed)

19 // Lucky Girl

Chapter 19

Wala akong gana pumasok sa school ngayon. I feel like I had no other reasons but to stay inside my room. Hindi rin ako nakakain kagabi dahil nakatulog na lang ako sa overflowing emotions ko. Siguro nga mas mabuting naitulog ko na lang kaysa naman ipagsiksikan ko pa ang sarili ko. I know that I would never be like them. That no one would choose me. Hindi naman ako kapili-pili. Hindi ako magiging first choice ng kahit na sino man.

When I woke up earlier, my parents asked me if everything was alright and all I had to answer was a lie. Sinabi kong okay lang ako at gusto ko lang talaga umiyak which is also a lie. Then while were having our breakfast, they round up asking about my prom dress and my prom date. Wala akong naisagot sa prom date pero sa prom dress ay pinakita ko naman na masaya ako sa magiging suot ko.

I told them just to rent a dress for me but they ended up buying one for me. Hindi ko pa nasusukat iyon dahil pinakita nila sa akin during breakfast and I was to fit it last night pero dahil sa emosyon ko kagabi ay hindi ko na nangyari. But I'm happy that they're very supportive for me. Kitang-kita ko naman sa kanila na hindi nila ako binibitawan sa kahit anong pagkakataon. And maybe I should do that too. Hold on a little longer.

I also thought it wasn't really the prom that made me feel so emotional. What Cirie said to me, I just couldn't forget that. I just couldn't believe that Gwen left for me such no reason. Lalaki lang pala ang dahilan ng magiging hindi pagkakaintindihan naming dalawa. And I don't think she's going to meet me back where we started. Gusto na niya kung anong nangyayari sa kanya. I couldn't blame her if that's what she wants pero ngayong parang sobrang lungkot ng buhay ko, I only got my family and yet I'm lying to them because I keep believing that I was okay.

I am okay, I am, but that's just the picture of my life. The real life falls behind the happy smiles.

When I passed the hallways earlier, everyone is so happy and excited for something that will happen later. Noah's prom date will be picked. I'm also sure that no boys will take a chance to get their luck on prom dates today because the girls obviously wouldn't abruptly say yes when there's a chance of settling with Noah as their prom date. Maybe that's a good opportunity for the boys to step back and watch how all these girls dropped all their hopes because they weren't pick by Noah.

That would be a nice thing to watch though.

Sa ngayon, kahit sa loob ng cafeteria o kahit kanina sa homeroom namin, si Noah ang usapan ng mga kababaihan. Naaburido na ang mga boys dahil parang hindi sila nagsasawang pag-usapan si Noah. Well, Noah keeps his social media active, madalas pa rin siya mag-post ng kanyang mag videos. Noah's engagement to his fan kept him in the cloud nine. He wouldn't also be there if it wasn't for his fan. That's why he's very thankful of them, and I'm happy that he's happy with his life kahit na masyadong controversial ang pagiging public figure.

But after eating in the cafeteria, coming back into our homerooms, our classes cuts off for us to go ahead to the gymnasium hall. This is the point where the girls wishes will finally come true. They have been dreading for this for weeks and now that waiting is come to an end, it's also an opportunity for the boys to start taking their prospect dates for the upcoming prom. And it's just a few days away, and I don't really feel the excitement in me.

Pumwesto ako sa pinakataas na upuan sa bleachers. No one will notice me anyway. At saka hindi ako interesado sa magiging outcome ng activity nito. But I'm happy for Noah. He only do this because it was our School Principal and Vice Principal's request. And Noah thinks that this is a good opportunity for him to mingle with people who appreciate him and by going on a date with a lucky girl is a way for him to say thank you.

Noah also texted me that he'll be going here and then why I didn't return his calls and why I keep ignoring his messages. Hindi ko rin alam. Wala lang talaga ako sa mood na makipag-usap sa ngayon. I only need this day to end para maka-move on na kaagad ako. I need to left his bigat of damdamin behind. I can't carry it forward. Gusto ko pa rin namang maging masaya sa darating na prom.

It doesn't take too long when the girls started screaming and that at moment, na-gets ko na kung anong meron. Nandiyan na si Noah. Lahat ng mata namin ay nakaabang sa two-way door ng gymnasium kung saan ito papasok. Ang iba ay nakataas na ang mga camera phone para lang mavideo-han si Noah. At nang tuluyang pumasok si Noah kasama ang ilang school officials at body guards sa paligid nito, nabingi ako sa tili ng mga schoolmates kong babae.

He's holding a bouquet of flowers. He might be giving it to the lucky girl.

Maging ako ay sinamahan ang mga kalalakihan sa pagtakip ng tainga. Pakiramdam pa namin ay lulundo ang bleachers dahil nakuha pang tumalon ng ibang kababaihan. Nang patahimikin din naman sila ng aming school officials, mag limang minuto rin ang itinagal bago sila kumalma dahil kung hindi ay hindi na matutuloy ang pagpili ni Noah sa darating na prom at iyon ay magiging kasalanan ng lahat.

So when everyone settled quietly on their seats, pansin kong lumilingon-lingon sa paligid si Noah at pakiramdam ko ay hinahanap niya ako. Tinakpan ko ng buhok ko ang mukha ko para hindi niya ako makilala and I think it works dahil tumigil siya sa paghahanap sa akin. But then he started texting me kung nasaan ako. Hindi ako nagre-reply. Kailangan niya ring ituon ang atensyon niya sa activity ngayon at hindi sa akin.

We're still friends. 'Yon lang ang label naming dalawa.

Ipinatawag si Noah ng aming VP para sa gagawing pagpili. Ang dropbox ay ipinuwesto sa center platform kung saan ang lahat ng mga pangalan na nagparticipate sa activity na ito ay naroon ang pangalan. I even had my name there. Gwen puts my name, she had her name and then Cirie as well. Hindi naman sila mahirap hanapin. Cirie with her girls and then next to her sitting is Gwen. Wala nang iba. Parang matatalik na magkakaibigan na silang apat. And because of a boy, I was left alone.

Noah puts his hand inside the dropbox and a quick second, may nabunot na kaagad siyang pangalan. When the VP told him to announce the girl he's about to go on a date to prom, everyone's holding their breath in and I think I was the only one who didn't. And I'm not expecting that I'll be picked.

"Cirie Amanda," Noah announced. Everyone gasped and the boys sighed upon hearing it.

That['s what I'm expecting for. Of course, it would be her.

Na kay Cirie ang lahat ng atensyon at agad din naman siyang pinatawag na pumunta sa stage. Pansin ko naman si Gwen na todo support sa kanya at pinalakpakan niya pa ito. They even hugged before Cirie went to the stage. Hindi ko na lang inisip 'yon, wala rin naman akong magagawa e. 

Nang makatungtong si Cirie sa stage, Noah just say a few words to Cirie and they made the promposal official. He handed over the bouquet of flower he was holding when he came in. And what everyone made them felt so jealous was when she hugged Noah.

Sa ibang bagay ko na lang tinuon ang atensyon ko hanggang sa matapos ang activity. When Noah was the one who instantly left the premises, nagsunuran na rin naman ang mga babae kong schoolmates. Ang ibang disappointed girls naman ay nakatanggap kaagad ng promposals sa mga boys kaya tuwang-tuwa sila roon. And I don't really feel jealous at al... hindi talaga. Hindi.

As I was walking out the campus, naka-receive pa ako ng message from Noah that he's expecting me in the parking area pero nang sinilip ko naman siya roon, nandoon ang karamihan ng mga students na gustong makapagpapicture sa kanya. Ang ginawa ko na lamang ay umalis doon at naglakad pauwi sa bahay. Not even informing Noah I got home early.

I immediately walked into my room, not announcing to my parents that I was home. I saw the dress on a hanger hanging on my closet. Kinuha ko iyon at humarap ako sa tapat ng full length mirror. Inilapit ko ang dress ko sa katawan ko at ngumiti.

I look gorgeous in this pero bakit ganon... no one still choose to stay with me. Dahil nasa iba na ang atensyon ng mga tao, wala na silang pakialam sa akin and that's fine but knowing that people only like me because of Noah hurts me as well.

Somehow, someday, they will know that falling for someone that they can't anything about is damn hurtful and falling for Noah is breaking me apart.