1. Falling for Noah (Completed)

10 // Friendship

Chapter 10

The dinner I had with Noah last week brought disastrous to my friendship with Gwen. I've been trying to call her on weekends but she's not answering any of my texts and calls. I told I'll come by to her house so we could talk, she didn't reply to it but I came to her house and her mom told me that she's sick and resting and doesn't want people around her. 

Or it was just her reason not to talk to me.

I know I shouldn't have lied to her. Nasabi na rin ni Noah 'yon sa akin. I know the risk, ginawa ko lang din naman 'yon kasi alam kong magseselos siya. Alam kong kakainggitan niya ako. Syempre mas gusto niya na siya 'yong nasa posisyon ko. She loves him rather than me. Siguro hindi niya lang matanggap na kailangan ko pang magsinungaling. I know she will understand it but I don't want to hurt her.

Hindi rin naman ako umaasa na magkakaroon kaming dalawa ni Noah ng label. Which in the first place, hindi naman magkakaroon. We just knew each other, we just became friends and entering a new phase of something that's irrelevant to the situation is hard to come by. Imposibleng mangyari 'yon. Maybe I'll just stay as a friend, maybe a fangirl but will not be his girlfriend.

Pagkapasok ko kanina, agad ko ring hinanap si Gwen. She's busy reading her notes kaya hindi ko rin agad nalapitan. I don't know reach out on her dahil pakiramdam ko ang laki ng problema. Ayoko namang magalit siya ng tuluyan sa akin dahil lang doon. I need to fix this as soon as possible. If she wanted me to leave Noah alone, gagawin 'ko 'yon, just not to hurt our friendship.

Iba pa rin naman kasi ang pagkakaibigan kaysa sa isang relationship. And Noah and I had nothing. Kumpara sa tagal ng pagkakaibigan namin ni Gwen, Noah and I were just simply acquaintances. He doesn't know me that very well while my best friends knows half of my life. I have no feelings for Noah, not that deep as what Gwen have. 

But if she can be mad at me just because of boy, does that mean hindi mahalaga sa kanya ang pagkakaibigan namin? Why would she get angry with me? Hindi ko naman isinasantabi 'yong pagtatago ko sa kanya no'ng totoong dahilan but I'm also trying not to feel her something about it. Kapakanan niya rin naman ang iniisip ko pero sa huli ako pa pala ang may kasalanan.

Oh well, this is life and I just had to live with it. Kung ayaw na niya akong tanggapin bilang kaibigan, that's her problem anymore. Sinusuyo ko na siya, siya lang 'tong ayaw akong bigyan ng pagkain.

Was that too big of a deal for her? Gosh.

When our class ended, napansin naunang maglakad palabas ng room si Gwen. Nagmadali akong ayusin ang gamit 'ko saka dali dali ko rin siyang hinabol. Nang nasa hallway na kami ay hinawakan ko ang braso niya at saka niya ako nilingon, but she's not looking directly into my eyes. Iwas na iwas ang tingin niya.

"Are you mad at me, Gwen?" I asked. "What did I do?"

Then she finally make an eye contact with me, "Ask that again to yourself baka nalilito ka lang sa ginagawa mo. Or reflect it once in a while, hindi madali ang manloko ng kapwa."

She shoved my hands off of her at saka niya ako iniwan. Bumagsak ang balikat ko at napabuntonghininga na lang din ako ng malalim. Does she really hate me that much? Parang ang laki ng naging kasalanan ko sa kanya. Hindi 'ko maintindihan kung ano na gusto niyang puntuhin ngayon but if she's going to treat me like that, hindi na maganda 'yon.

If she doesn't want me hanging out with her from now own, I'll give her space until she thought what I did was only for the best of her situation. Kung minamasa niya 'yon, nasa kanya na 'yon. I tried my best to reach out to her pero lumalabas na ako pa ang may mali so I guess I need to step it down a little until she's the one who realizes it.