1. Falling for Noah (Completed)

12 // Attention

Chapter 12

I have been trying to ignore what's happening pero kahit anong gawin ko, parang tinutulak pa rin akong gawin ang gusto ko. Kahit ayoko ng gawin. Ang gulo. Hindi 'ko maintindihan. Baka nga ganito talaga kapag naiipit sa isang sitwasyon na hindi ko hawak, even though I tried with all the resources I have, I just can't seem to move on without trying so hard. Napakahirap. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna last long not thinking about it.

Noah's text message made me think about us. Though I know there's nothing to talk about us because we're just friends, that it is the sole and foundation of our meeting, just to be friends. Our date doesn't mean we have to fall in love with each other when it's only his way of connecting to his fans. But I'm not his fan and yet he kept coming at my way. 

When I came into school earlier, hindi pa rin naman ako ligtas sa mga chismis at tingin ng ilan kong schoolmates. It must be because of two things, I'm the school nerd and I dated Noah. That's still an ongoing debate for everyone. Hindi nila ako tatantanan hangga't hindi nila naririnig 'yong gusto nilang marinig. Some wanted Noah and I ended up together pero mas maraming bitter girls na ayaw mangyari 'yon. Even though kinikilig sila na makita kaming dalawa ni Noah, ayaw nilang magkatuluyan kami.

But I'm not hoping to have a label with him. Lumalayo na nga ako eh. Ayoko nang madawit ang pangalan ko kay Noah.

Tahimik na lang ako, nag-aaral ng mabuti dahil may quiz kami mamaya.

But one thing that caught my attention was Gwen. There she goes telling everyone how her date went with Noah. Pinagmamalaki niya iyon. She became the talk of the town now. Almost all of our girl schoolmates have been asking her to know what happened and how did she got a chance to take him out on a date. Everyone is fascinated, inggit na inggit Gwen. 

Hindi naman ako naiinggit. Why should I? Naka-date ko na nga 'yong tao ng ilang beses, hinding-hindi ako magseselos sa isang gabing 'yon. I know Gwen was doing it just to torture my feelings. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit hindi pa rin niya ako pinapansin ngayong nakuha na niya ang gusto niya. Binigay ko ang gustp niya. She should be happy but then she forget about me when she has now.

Kinalimutan niya ako dahil binuo na ng lalaki 'yong buhay niya. She's too happy with kaya kahit ang best friend niya kaya niyang iwan just to get closer with this guy.

Nasasayangan ako kasi sa tagal ng pagkakaibigan namin, she will just throw it away dahil lang kay Noah. Hindi ko naman sinisisi si Noah dito. He has nothing to do with this. Ginagawa lang naman niya 'yong dapat niyang gawin. He chose me to be his date and fulfill it. Wala naman siyang ginagawang masama. And I should owe it to Gwen, siya naman ang dahilan kung bakit kami nagkakilala ni Noah but getting angry on me because of her jealousy, I think that's not right anymore.

Nang matapos ang klase namin, lumabas na ako ng room to go to the cafeteria. The usual routine for me after classes during lunch break. Mag-isa akong tumungo dahil nauna nang umalis si Gwen. I told to myself na hahayaan ko na lang muna siya and let her have the moment. Ilang beses ko na siyang sinuyo pero pakiramdam ko ako pa rin ang kontrabida sa sitwasyon naming dalawa.

If she knows that Noah keeps calling me and sending messages, maybe she would hate me more. Hindi 'ko lang sinasagot si Noah dahil ayokong magkaroon na naman ng conflict and I'm tired of putting myself in between. Nakakasawa maging dahilan ng isang gulo.

Napadaan ako sa dropbox kung saan patuloy na may naglalaglag ng forms doon para sa nalalapit na prom. It is their chance to have a date and a dance with Noah Beckon. Maraming umaaasa, almost of them wanted to be that girl kaya iyong mga lalaki ay nawawalan na nang pag-asa na makuha pa ang mga sagot ng mga babaeng gusto nilang dalhin sa prom because of this little activity.