Taylor Swift / Kaylor - Begin Again

Chapter Eight

Ellie'sPOV

I see nothing. Nothing but white. I'm not sure where I am, who is with me or who I am. It's cold. All I can hear is this consistent high pitch ring in my ears. Am I dead? Am I alive? Am I hanging by a thread?

I see someone. Someone small. They're white as well, though, just a tad darker than the whiteness I see. They're coming towards me now. Holding out their hand.

Once they're closer to me, I realise who it is. It's my brother. It's Luke. He still looks the same. The cheeky 4 year old him. He's smiling. But it's a sad smile.

"Ellie."

"Luke, is that you?"

"Yes."

"Why are you here?"

"To help you make a decision."

"A decision on what?"

"Whether you want to wake up or not."

"So I'm not dead?"

"No."

"Why? Do you want to be?"

"Yes."

"But why? Ellie, your idol is about to adopt you, you can start your life again."

"If I start my life again, I won't have you, or mom."

"You will always have me and mama, we will always be beside you. You need to make a choice."

"What if I don't want to wake up?"

"Then you'll die. Right here, right now."

"And if I want to wake myself up?"

"Then Taylor will be right in front of you."

"How do you know?"

"I can see everything. I'm always beside you."

"Part of me wants to wake up, but a bigger part of me doesn't want to. I want to be with you and mom. I can't live without you."

"You've lived without us for 6 years. You can manage."

"I can't. Look how it turnt out with just me and dad."

"You're not with dad now though. Taylor will protect you. You will never see him again. Taylor won't ever hurt you like he did. You have so much to live for. A better life is waiting for you, if you just wake up, I promise."

"I trust you."

"I love you Ellie."

"I love you too Luke. Tell mom I love her."

And he was gone. Just like that. Gone, agaLuke

But I hear another voice. It's more of a whisper. But it's comforting. It feels like home.

"Please wake up. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. I promise to protect you, always."

I feel a tear slide out my eye. I'm becoming more aware of my sense now. My eyelids feels a bit lighter and I have feeling back in my hands. Someone is holding my right hand. I give them a slight squeeze as I slowly lift my eyelids.

"Oh my god, she's waking up." I hear.

I finally open my eyes, but everything is blurry. I can see figures, but I can't see faces. Someone is still holding my hand. I cough a little bit and rub my eyes with my other hand. I can still feel tears on my face.

Once my vision is back I can see who is holding my hand. It's Taylor.  Luke was right. A few more tears slide down my cheeks until Taylor uses a bit of tissue to wipe them away. She's got tears in her eyes.

"I thought you were gone." She sobbed.

"I'm sorry." I choked

"I've been here for 3 days. I thought you would never wake up."

"I didn't want to, but Luke spoke to me."

"Who's Luke sweetie?"

"My little brother. He spoke to me. He told me you was here."

"How old was he?"

"5"

"He's a smart little boy."

"He always was." I sighed. I knew she was gonna want an explanation. I took a deep breath in and prepared myself to tell her, until the nurse walked in.

"Ellie, it's good to see you awake."

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Well, while you were unconscious we pumped your stomach, that was quite a nasty overdose, you're lucky to be alive,"

Thenwhydon'tIalwaysfeelit?

"Obviously we inserted an IV drip into your arm to get fluids back into your system and whatnot. You're blood pressure is still low, but if you show signs of improvement throughout today, you will hopefully be allowed home tomorrow."

"Great, back to that hellhole." I mumbled again.

"Only for 2 days. Then you'll be with me. It won't be long, I promise."

"I guess." I sighed again.

"Well that's everything. I'll leave you two to it." The nurse smiled.

"Thank you." Taylor said back.

I looked down and started fiddling with my fingers.

"Has Linda been here?"

"She came up on the night... Of the uh, of the overdose. But she had to get back to the home."

"Oh."

"She's punished Natalie and Alice. They're not allowed out of the home unless they're going to school. Once school is finished they must go straight back. They're not allowed any luxuries for a whole year, no allowance, no TV, nothing. As for the bullies at school, they've been expelled permantly."

"I guess that means I have to go there still."

"Well, there's two options."

"Are they not go to school or not go to school?"

"Good to see you haven't lost your sarcasm. But no, it's neither of those. It's either home schooling once you're living with me, or we find you a new school to go to. You don't have to decide right now, you've been given 3 weeks out of school so you have until then."

"Okay."

I had no idea what I wanted. I'm scared about starting a new school, I'll have to make new friends, which is a huge difficulty, there's the chance of being bullied again, or I could be homeschooled. Which means I won't make any friends, and it'll me more intense. Thank god I had a while to decide.

"How's Bella?" I ask, suddenly trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

"She's worried about you. Everytime Linda phones me or I phone her, Bella is there wanting to speak to me asking about you."

"Bless her. I bet Linda can't wait for me to leave."

"Well, I think she's deeply regretting not listening to you sooner, and for judging you. She's regretting it a lot."

"Good."

"Ellie?"

"Mhmm?"

"Why?" My stomach dropped.

"Why what?"

"You know what. Why did you do it?"

I let out a shaky breath. I knew it was time to open up to her completely.