Tears Of the Lynx

Chapter 4

~thank you to anyone who got this far in my story
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~ALL ART WORK FROM CHAPTERS 1-4 IS FROK ssz__ssz ON TWT PLEASE GO SHOW SUPPORT THERE DIRECTLY 😼

(ASH POV). At the dining table I am sitting down, shocked as Blanca tells me my current situation.Blanca tells me details like where I am and why i'm here. He says that we're on a deserted island and basically off the grid. I was here because he had to keep me alive. Blanca knew that Eiji was leaving for japan that day and that I most likely would be vulnerable for people to take their shot at killing me. So he was going around to common places I hung out just in case. And he just happened to see me in the library. I have been in a coma on this island for the past three years. He explained to me that he had paid for the press to release a special statement claiming I was dead. Only Blanca knows I am still alive. If anyone else knew my secret that would put Eiji in danger again and is the last thing I want under any circumstances. However now that I know Blanca is the only person who knows I am alive that means that Eiji thinks I have been dead for the past 3 years. I don't know how Eiji feels but it's been 3 years since my "death" so he must've moved on already, right ?

~SORRY ANOTHER TIME SKIP~

It has now been 7 years since my presumed death. I currently live back in New York. Everything here is so calm and I cant really explain it, but something is missing. I had to change my name because even if I am presumed dead a lot of different gangs would be able to recognize me in an instant. Something I do occasionally since I don't really do much is go to visit the public library. I revisit the library not only to read but to feel close to Eiji. I lost my letter after being taken to the island, but I still remember every single word of it. I remember how it had "Dear Ash" written on the outside of the envelope in his writing. I remember his heartfelt words saying he never once feared me like all the others did. Those small gestures makes me miss him more and more everyday. I'm for sure that he has moved on already but I'm holding on to what I can of him. Me dying at this library was for him, and it was my pact with myself that i'd die for the person I love. I think back to all the times we had when he was here 10 years ago. I miss him with everything in me, but I know that he's safe and that's all the matters. Along with going to the library I also go to our meeting place, the bar. I only go here when I feel my worst. I go here when I absolutely feel like I can't do it anymore.  Since this is a common gang hangout I don't stay very long to avoid getting noticed. I drink till I feel like i'm about to blackout. The bar is my comfort place when I am sad. It is very often when I feel sad and lonely. I'm not only starting to miss Eiji, but everyone who helped me protect Eiji. I assume at some point everyone got the gist to protect Eiji at all costs. And anyone who put their life in danger for Eiji is considered a friend to me.

~I wanna write longer chapters, but I feel I don't know where to end it yk
~anywaysss i'm trying my best here so deal with it for now BWAHHAHA