It' s a weekend, yes, he always come. But it was an hour or more later than scheduled. It has always been like this since we started dating. But today is different, he has pink roses with him.
"Hi! I'm sorry for making you wait. Let's go?" I nodded.
He gave me the flowers. I don't know but I feel something is up. He looked at Annoying guy and winked. He then waved goodbye.
"Where do you want to go?" he asked.
I sighed, "Ikaw bahala?" tumawa ako kunwari para ibahin ang mood dahil parang nahimigan niya ang pagbuntung-hininga ko.
"Look, I'm really sorry for being late. Dad just told me some things to take care of. You know, business," he hold my hand, "I'm sorry, okay?"
What can I do? I pat him, "It's okay, I'm just tired. I helped Nanay to prepare for this night," pero hindi naman talaga. Napagod ako maghintay sayo, AJ.
Napagod akong maghintay ng maghintay sayo. Hindi ka na dumating ng sakto sa oras, puro excuses. Tuwing third week, hindi ka man lang nagtatanong kung bakit lagi akong wala, basta ka na lang napayag na hindi lumabas. He always say I'm busy, isn't he curious where and why?
He drove. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. I just looked on the way like I never seen it before when I drive. Kailangan kong intindihin, hindi na ba ako nasanay? Ambabaw mo naman MA! Na-late siya dahil kinausap siya ni Uncle. Napagod ka maghintay? Paano nalang yung pagod niya nung ikaw yung hinintay niyang bumalik? He held my hand again. I looked at him and smiled. May kinang sa mga mata niya na hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa masaya siya na magkasama kami, o lungkot dahil ako ang kasama niya.
"We're here," bumaba na siya ng sasakyan.
Bababa na sana ako ng tumakbo siya para siya mismo ang magbukas ng pinto ko at inalalayan ako pababa.
"Thanks, AJ."
"No worries. Come on, the food is ready."
"Really? A while ago you were just asking me where to go," nagtataka kong tanong.
"I called them while driving. I guess you were thinking too far away that time because you didn't hear we talked."
"Baka nga," wala naman talaga kasi, "Tara na?"
Inarko niya ang braso niya para kumapit ako doon.
"Good evening, Sir!" tumingin sa akin yung attendant, parang nagtataka na ewan, "Good evening, Ma'am!"
"Good evening din, Ellen! Reserved?"
Close sila?
"Always naman, Sir! Kayo pa po ba ni Ma'am Catriona? VIP diners po kayo eh!" sabay silang tumawa at agad na din kaming hinatid sa room namin.
Wala namang imposible kapag nga VIP ka. Naransan ko na din naman.
"Next next week, we'll go out of town. I want to go to Cebu. Let's swim."
Napaisip ako bigla, paano iyon pupunta ako ng Los Angeles? I have class schedule at D' LA. How will I tell him?
"Ahm," yun pa lang ang nasasabi ko bigla na naman siyang nagsalita.
"Don't worry about your Nanay, Fritz and that guy you hate," he chuckled, "It's just you and me, to spend more time together. And I won't tell Uncle Bert and Auntie that you're with me."
Aagahan ko nalang kaya ang pag-uwi. Pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng klase ko ng Friday, uuwi na agad ako. Okay lang naman siguro kung ako naman ang male-late 'di ba? Pero kasi Dance-off Month ngayon eh, baka hindi ako makaalis agad dahil baka hindi ako payagan ni Raph.
"I'm not sure about it, AJ. I have to attend to something that week," I smiled at him.
"It's okay! I will wait for you. Anytime you finish, we'll go then. Napansin ko lang, you're too busy. Dahil ba sa hindi mo ginagalaw ang allowance and tuition that they give and nagpa-part time job ka?"
He finally asked after months of being together!
"Ah, oo! Umalis ako sa bahay to be independent, so what's the sense if I will still use the allowance they were giving? Besides, nasa bank account ko lang naman 'yun, it's safe," what will I do? Dance-off is scheduled that week.
"There goes my smart girl. Why do you always make me proud?" tiningnan niya ako sa mata ng may ngiti sa mga labi.
Nagulat ako ng tumayo siya at puwesto sa likod ko at inilabas ang isang necklace na may pressed rose na pendant. Ang ganda niyon. Kaso nga lang ay hindi ako mahilig sa rose, lalo na sa pink. Nalimutan ba ni L banggitin sa kaniya kung ano ang paborito kong kulay at bulaklak?
"There you go! It perfectly suits you!"
Talaga ba? Hindi ko mapigilan ang isip kong mag-isip ng kung ano-ano. Niloloko ata ako nitong si AJ e.
"I don't think so, AJ. I mean, rose is so girly and I'm not. So how does it happen that it suits me well?"
He laughed, "I know, but what you look like right now is what I mean. You look like a grown up lady. L will be happy"
What's wrong with you AJ? I am wearing jeans and loose shirt on boots. How come?
"Are you alright? I think you're--" his phone rang.
"Excuse me." 'Yun lang ang sinabi niya at iniwan na ako ng hindi man lang tinitingnan.
Parang naniniwala na ako sa lalaking iyon sa sitwasyon ni AJ. He's wounded. Why do I feel like all he was saying wasn't for me? Why do I feel like I am another woman and not MA in his eyes. These thoughts are tearing me now. Yes, we were together but why it's only me who see you as AJ, and you see me as her?
Nagmamadali siyang bumalik sa table namin at kinuha niya yung wallet niya para mag-iwan ng bayad sa kinain namin na halos hindi pa nababawasan.
"Something came up. I have to go," aalis na siya, he have to go. Bumalik siya, "I have to drop you home. Come on now."
Akala ko iiwan na niya talaga ko. Susubukan ko pa isa pa, "Okay lang, kaya ko namang umuwi mag-isa. You go now. I'll finish my food nalang, sayang naman." AJ, please say...
Hindi pa ako natatapos sa iniisip kong gusto kong mangyari, "Okay, I'll go na. Ingat ka pag-uwi. I'll tell Ellen to assist you."
Hindi iyon ang inaasahan kong sagot niya. Akala ko ba he'll do everything now that he just want to be with me? Why do I feel like I'm the one who's desperate to be with him now?
Hindi ko na nagawang kainin pa ang pagkain sa plato ko. Pinalipas ko muna ang ilang minuto para siguradong nakaalis na si AJ. Ayoko ng madagdagan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.
Aalis na sana ako ng mapagtantong wala akong dalang pitaka. All I have is my phone. Kaya pala parang pakiramdam ko may kulang sakin wala yung belt bag ko. Paano ako uuwi ngayon nito? Nakakainis naman!
Lumabas ako ng restaurant bitbit yung bouquet ng rose. Iritang-irita akong bitbitin yun. Ihahampas ko na sana sa poste ng biglang may umagaw nito sa akin.
"It's beatiful kaya! It also look expensive, why hit it on the post?"
Naiirita ko siyang nilingon, "Bakit ka ba nandito?"
He smiled, "Just because I feel like a rude girl will need help. Because I think she didn't listen," tumigil siya na para bang may gustong ipamukha sa akin. Nakatingin siya sa mga rosas, "She didn't listen when I was trying to say that she shouldn't forgot things that should be remembered." He took a deep breathe and walked towards me, "Things like this," that's my belt bag., "don't act like it's always the first for you two to be that excited, huh?"
