Don't Play With Fire | Zuko x Sokka

3 | Scars

No one saw Zuko for the rest of the day. Katara said he'd need sleep. The day went by peacefully but boring, and much quieter than usual as Sokka wasn't talking much. The day ended as it usually would, but Zuko's presence was missing.

~~~

Sokka was sweating, his breath shaky. Another nightmare. He reached for the flask near him and took a swig. A few more and he was feeling okay again. See? No need to cry. Sokka sighed and stood up. He walked outside into the night. It was dark except for the moon, which seemed less bright tonight. He noticed another light, coming from Zuko's tent. He hesitated for a second before slowly walking over to the tent and gently opening the flap. He was met with a meditating fire prince, a small flame held between his open palms. It was the orange fire from before. 

"Hey," Sokka said. Zuko's eyes opened. He blinked hard, the world coming back into focus. Sokka. 

"Hey," his voice was calm, tired. He was too tired to be angry. Tired and empty. He felt drained of energy and emotion. Sokka sat down next to his mat, a few feet away. For some reason, this didn't even surprise Zuko. He just sighed as the other boy sat there. "Couldn't sleep?" 

"Just didn't want to," Zuko said.

 "Why not?" Sokka asked. Zuko looked him in the eye. 

"I'm less angry at night. It's easier to deal with." To deal with. . . Sounded like Sokka and his slight drinking problem. "You?" 

"Nightmare," Sokka said. Zuko nodded. He sniffed the air. 

"Do you always drink in the middle of the night?" the fire prince asked. Sokka sat back and sighed. His dad would be so disappointed. He dropped his head down. 

"Does it get easier?" Sokka mumbled. To his surprise, Zuko laughed softly, but his laugh was void of emotion. 

"My uncle always said it would." 

"I hope your uncle's right," Sokka said. He stood up to leave, but to his surprise, Zuko grabbed his arm and pulled him back. 

"Stay for a bit," he said. Sokka nodded slowly, sitting down again. "Can you. . . just talk for a second? About what's in your head." Zuko sighed. He sounded stupid.

"It's like- like I can never do anything good enough. I mess everything up. I'll never be as strong as any of you guys. But I don't know. It's stupid." 

"No. It's not. I know what you mean," Zuko said. Sokka looked at him. "You know how I was obsessed with my honor? It wasn't easy to accept that I'll never get it back. It's still hard. Now all of the fire nation hates me for turning on them. The rest of the world hates me for what I was before. It's just- so much hate. So much anger," Zuko growled. "It's always inside of me. Spirits I just want to be normal," Zuko's voice cracked. 

"I don't hate you," Sokka said. Zuko rolled his eyes. "But I know what you mean. Feeling like the whole world is against you. My mom dies, my dad leaves, I go on this mission with the avatar, I lose so many people. Maybe if I was a bender. . . I could've saved them. I don't know how people deal with it. And on top of that, I'm supposed to be the funny sarcastic guy. It's dumb. But it's like- it's like eating me up inside," Sokka said.

"I don't know how people deal with it. There's so much blood on my hands, it's terrifying. But when someone is lost, they're gone. You're gonna have to accept it. It's not fair to them or to yourself to imagine ways that it could've happened." Zuko said. "You'll see them one day."

 "Hope it'll be soon," Sokka sighed. Zuko snorted. Suicide joke? 

"You know, I'm not stupid. I know what you were doing. I know why you lost so much blood," Sokka said. Zuko turned his head away, grimacing. Sokka put his hand on Zuko's shoulder. He looked down at Zuko's arms. Can I see? He seemed to ask. Zuko nodded hesitantly. Sokka gently started to undo the cloth. As he removed them completely, he looked at the boys scarred and cut wrists. His fingers brushed them gently. He looked at Zuko. "I used to do that," Sokka said. Zuko raised an eyebrow. Sokka nodded. The firebender looked down at the tan boy's arms.