Tears in Heaven (Architect Series #3) [Publish Under B&B Printing Service]

Chapter 11

Buti na lang at hindi na nangusisa pa ang mga taga hotel sa nakita nila at umalis na lang nang makitang kaya ko namang aluhin ang kaibigan ko. I don't know what to do by this moment. I'm just hugging her as she cries while my arms envelopes her body.

Nag iiyakan lang kaming dalawa for almost two hours now. Gano'n katagal! Gusto ko siyang sigawan at pagalitan sa ginawa niya pero hindi pwede. She needs someone to understand her, she needs someone to make her feel she's special, she needs someone who will say her everything will eventually be okay.. and I wanted to be that person.. I wanted to help her rise again.

"Gusto ko na lang mawala," I stiffed when she talk about what she wanted to do earlier. "Sobrang sakit na.. hindi ko ramdam na buhay ako kahit na humihinga naman ako.. sana 'di mo ako pinuntahan, S-shan."

Parang pinapiraso ang puso sa mga salitang binitawan niya. Lalo ko lang hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya para itago ang mukhang umiiyak.

"You.. you can't die yet. Please live for yourself, Jo. I'll help you just please live kahit hindi na normal na buhay basta mabuhay ka lang," sabi ko. I know it was so selfish of me to say those pero hindi mo ako masisisi. Kaibigan ko siya at ang gusto ko lang ay ang mabuhay siya.

"Nasasaktan ko na mga tao sa paligid ko. I hurt him badly, Shan! I hurt you, I wan't to rest.."

"No. You don't hurt me, it's the situation did hurting us, okay? Don't worry, I am hurting because I chose to stay by your side rather than let you go."

"Kinakain ako ng konsenya ko, Shan. Totoo kayong lahat sa akin. Samantalang ako lahat sa akin hindi totoo. Hindi ko naman pinagsisihang ganito ako.. dahil.. kung makita man nila kung gaano ako kahina hindi na sila siguro mananatili pa sa tabi ko.. o kaya masasaktan ko rin sila.. katulad mo."

"Solid tayong magkakaibigan pero hindi lahat sa atin totoo. We have our hidden secrets with each of us," I remember my engagement with Patrick. "But, regardless of that our intentions were pure," I added.

She went silent for a while and nodded eventually. She lifted her gaze on me and my brows furrowed when she stared at me and cry again.

"Bakit ka na naman ba umiiyak?!" medyo stressed kong tanong dahil nagsisimula na namang tumulo ang mga luha ko sa mga mata ko.

"Nag eenjoy ka sana ngayon kasama sila hindi umiiyak dito kasama ko.."

"Mabuti na 'to kaysa naman tumatawa nga ako kasama nila ngayon, tapos bukas umiiyak na sa lamay mo!" giit ko at tumawa.

"What a dark joke.. ang bobo mo, Shan!"

I stood up and handed her my hand to help her to stand up with me. She didn't move she is just staring at me and suddenly her eyes drifted on my dress which is her blood are there. Guilt was evident to her eyes how much she felt sorry for this like she brought me a trouble or something.

"I'm sorry na mantsahan ko pa ang mahal mong dress," she said pushing her lips.

"Oo nga e, bayaran mo na lang to pag makaluwag luwag ka na.." sa dinadala mo. I joked.

"Wala na nga akong pambayad sa hotel na 'to, e."

"Ah, kaya siguro magpapakamatay ka para takasan ang utang mo sa hotel room mo 'no?" I smirked before turning my back on her.

I walked towards the cabinet at naghanap ng first aid kit nang magamot ko na ang kanyang sugat sa kamay. The memory of her cutting her wrist earlier scared me. I sighed heavily as I went back to her where still lying on the cold floor.

"Sasama ka sa'kin sa bahay ka na umuwi muna. Sinabihan ko na rin naman si mommy," sabi ko habang dahan-dahan na nilalagyan ng gamot ang sugat niya.