5SOS texts

Brazilian Spiders (lashton)

Luke watched a fact show and shares interesting facts with Ashton. 

collab with eskimuke aka jordan

me as Ashton, Jordan as Luke. 

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Luke: Fun fact with Luke!

Luke: Did you know, A Brazilian Spider can give you an erection of pain and basically torture for over 6 hours if it bites you?

Ashton: Dude what even

Ashton: What are you even watching

Luke: It's a show called "Do Duck Quacks Echo"

Luke: I watched the episode like a week ago, it's just a fun fact to share

Luke: Well not "fun", but you get the point

Ashton: Luke, why

Ashton: Why are you even a show about like ducks

Luke: Excuse me? (bringing out sassy lucas)

Luke: For your information, it's a show about facts

Luke: And it's itneresting

Luke: Did you know that sons will always be taller than their mothers? That was on the show too.

Ashton: Uhm yes?

Ashton: Like look at you, the 9ft giant. You're taller than your mum

Ashton: Plus, I'm sure at some point old people shrink.

Luke: Ashton! Don't be rude to Calum's kind. (this is something i never knew only was true in asians and im one)

Luke: It's only funny when he's around

Luke: Anyway, did you know that you can technically climb a wall just by using the suction part of a vacuum cleaner?

Ashton: I try to be funny and I get this treatment. How nice of you.

Ashton: No, I never knew that. But tell me more about this spider please.

Ashton: Can I buy it off some illegal website?

Luke: When it bites you, it gives you a painful erection lasting more than 6 hours and you can't get rid of it

Luke: And I'm pretty sure, in some cases, you might have to have your dick chopped off because of it

Luke: And idk, probably. It's the Internet, you can get like everything and anything.

Ashton: Let's buy one!

Ashton: And we can like, let it bite Mikey or something. That'd be funny

Ashton: Plus, he's always horny. Heard Calum blowing him last night.

Luke: Honey, I love you and all, but right now I would let the spider bite you.

Ashton: Ouch! :( 

Ashton: Why would you even? I TRUSTED YOU.

Luke: Plus, like you should speak, you were horny as fck yesterday. 

Ashton: Lukey please

Ashton: We do not speak of past events

Ashton: Thats embarassing

Ashton: But like, Malum were so loud yesterday :( 

Luke: Guess what?

Luke: I told Michael about the spider and your plans with it.

Luke: I also showed him these texts.