Derek hasn't had the best track record when it comes to relationships. He is broken and he has yet to realize his worth. Sometimes we need to see ourselves from the eyes of the people we love to know we matter. It's about finding the strength to be...
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Derek POV
Stiles had been getting up early to work out and was gone most mornings when he ended up staying the night. I yawned and looked to the bed side table and there like every morning was a note. Today he drew me a wolf eating a lemon and wrote sour wolf under it. I laughed. One of his many nicknames for me. Stiles was so cute, he hated having to leave so early, but I knew he had other things to do in his life. I mean to be honest we should've been dating with as much time as we spend with each other.
I know what was stopping us though....it was me.
I don't know how to begin it.
I like Stiles, I mean I really like Stiles, but I am afraid.
I've always had this cloud that follows me and I am just waiting for the rain.
I can feel my mind racing and of course I am over thinking. How do I even to begin to unravel? How do I let Stiles in?
We have kissed and I know the next step, but every time I think about it, I start to get sick. And I know Stiles is patient but how long is he willing to wait.
Someone better will come along; he deserves so much better. I put my head in my hands. I am so broken. It's not an easy fix. I might not ever be ok. I am feeling the need to write so I sit at my computer ready to pour out my emotions on the page.
My Crimson Knight...
In his heart I hear the music that never stops In his soul I see the dreams that never die
He holds my hand as the demons consume me The battle of light and dark The war of hurt and love
I cling to him because he is strong when I cannot be He clings to me because I am soothing when he is not calm
Puzzle pieces placed together perfectly
I dream in blood he wipes it away I hide in darkness he brings the light
My crimson knight Dedicated and loyal
I thank you...
I want to send it to Stiles but I don't know what he will think. I've been toying with the idea of telling him about my true self but I am scared. I know that if I want any kind of future, I am going to have to tell him about my wolf, I cannot pretend that. I save the poem for another day and text Stiles.
D: Hey.
S: Hey! Sour wolf! (=
Even his texts have personality.
D: Can you promise me no matter what you will be my friend?
S: Derek I will always be here for you, but you are worrying me. Are you ok?
D: I am ok, I just need to talk to you about somethings that have been on my mind. When can we meet up?
