How You See Me...

Grieving

A/N: This chapter is going to hurt. I am so sorry. It might be bad for a little while, but please stick with it. I promise it has a happy ending. You will be angry at Derek. No one is perfect and shit happens. May be triggering.

Derek POV

Stiles has finally gotten his bachelor's degree in law enforcement. We are all so extremely proud of him. He will soon be applying to work at the police station, but I am glad we have the summer.

Coming up with nothing as far as the trashing of my house. We all have kind of gotten comfortable again. I still have a bit of unease, but Peter and Stiles have told me that they really think it was a one-time thing. Stiles even pointed out that it could have been some homophobic psycho, considering the Hale name was a big deal in town and that some people might not like the fact that the two Hale's left was gay. I told him that was stupid, but Noah said people do worse things with less reasoning.

Boyd, Erica, Isaac, and Scott have moved in for the time being to help keep everyone safe. Jackson refuses to stay with us but he comes by every day. Peter and his pack are staying at Peter and Noah's house. So, at least if anything happens, we are all close to each other.

I've been awake for a while now, watching Stiles sleep. I know he's losing me again. I am so focused on not letting him get hurt, I know he's missing the sweet and open wolf I can be.

I need to be strong; I need to protect my pack. I need to protect Stiles. I'm stressing out and I know it's affecting everyone.

I decide to go for a run to clear my head. Isaac catches me as I am leaving.

"Der are you ok," He asks concern written on his face.

"Yeah, Issy I am good just need to clear my head," I say.

He's walking towards the door.

"I should go with you; you do not need to be alone." He says.

"Nah Issy I am good I promise. Go back to bed." I said ruffling his hair.

He nods, smiles at me, and goes back to the room he and Scott share.

I should have let Issy go with me. If I would have known, maybe I could have spared everyone the pain and disappointment I caused.

I'm running. It feels good, I feel free.

I've gotten the hang of shifting into a full wolf now and it's nice to just have basic instincts. It's nice to shut off my brain.

I make it to the lake, which is four miles from our house, surprised how quickly I made it there. Usually, a run consisted of me shifting, running to the lake, shifting, and then walking back in human form. I do this to practice shifting and just keeping my body strong, sometimes I feel like I am cheating if I wolf out the whole time.

We had a small shed used to hold all the lake things, like fishing poles. I kept spare clothes in there so I wasn't walking back to the house naked.

I'm leaving the shed and I smelled blood.

I'm trying to lock on the scent. It's coming from the other side of the lake.

I'm running towards the smell.

I stop.

In front of me is Jackson, he's gasping for air.

There is so much blood.

He is in his human form.

"Der.ek...I'm not healing. I...I think I'm dying." He whispers as blood falls down his chin.