The Arrangement

34

Word Count- 2457

I hope you all like this Chapter. I don't know much about Panic attacks. so, please educate me if I am wrong.

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"Hyunjin, I am here for you. Please, talk to me." Chan said, his tone dropping down to the lowest, as if he was whispering. He had his face so close to Hyunjin that their noses were touching as he stood in front of him while holding his shoulders. The younger's lips quivered and he gazed down, tears leaving his eyes in guilt. He had betrayed everyone. He left them to worry and had his husband crying right in front of him. It was all because of him.

"I-I am s-sorry." Hyunjin whispered back, his face red and voice almost not audible if it weren't for the silence prevailing in the room. He had his back against the wall and knees against his chest as he sat upon the counter. His hands were clutching the end of his sweats tightly in nervousness while he tried to find the correct words to talk to his husband.
"Hyunjin, Please talk. I am here." Chan repeated, closing his eyes, crying along with the other.

Hyunjin only cried more, his tears were silent but not any less painful. His sub-conscious mind was screaming at him to give into Chan's arms and let him help him but the wall of regrets and guilt stopped him from speaking. He had hurt everyone enough. Even now, he was just causing everyone pain and nothing else.
"Hyunjin, Please. We can get it right." Chan whispered, his fingers moving on their own to wipe Hyunjin's tears as if they were made to do that. But he was only making room for more. He knew that the younger was too far broken but he wasn't going to give up.

"Look at me, Hyunjin." Chan said, cupping Hyunjin's cheeks gently. However, the other only shook his head. Chan was relieved internally that he was at least replying to him, even if it was just a movement of head.
"Look at me, love please." He emphasised his first three words again, hoping it would have an impact on Hyunjin. And it did. Hyunjin slowly opened his red eyes which were full of tears but this time they held something much more precious that Chan had wanted to see ever since he saw Hyunjin a while ago.

They held hope. Hope to get better. Hope that he would get help and recover back to how he was. Finally, there was something Chan could hold onto to bring his Hyunjin back to him. He wasn't going to let it get away this time. But to his bad luck, it only lasted for a few seconds before Hyunjin closed his eyes and let out a sob.
"Hyunjin, Please-" He paused when Hyunjin pushed him away. He could feel his heart stopping for a second, feeling betrayed and numbed at just how Hyunjin pushed him away.

Chan looked at Hyunjin with widened eyes. Never, in the world has he done that to him. Hyunjin could push away anyone but Chan. He stared at the younger intently, noticing his every movement. Hyunjin once again opened his eyes and looked at Chan, feeling even worse that he made Chan feel like that. His hands were shaking as he moved them towards the hem of his top. He felt disgusted with himself, just how bad he was to make everything go wrong. He could not even look at Chan in his eyes.

Chan's face held confusion as he saw Hyunjin's shivering body moving to take off his top. He wanted to help Hyunjin but he was too puzzled to move. His eyes travelled Hyunjin's movements, his heart shattering into pieces when he saw the uncountable painful bruises and red bite marks on Hyunjin's body. Hyunjin's neck, chest, arms. Stomach, everything was covered with red and blue. His teeth clenched in anger as he let his tears flow down while staring at the younger.

"Y-you ca-can't help m-me." Hyunjin mumbled, his top dropping out of his hands and onto the floor as he showed himself to Chan. He looked up to stare into Chan's eyes which held nothing but love and care for him. His heart melted to see Chan still wanting to help him, but he could not do this to Chan. He loved him too much to cause him anymore pain.
"You sh-should n-not help m-me." Hyunjin whispered, shaking his head slowly while crying.