trouvaille // jenlisa

forty two [M]

A/N: long chapter ahead :)

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/THIRD PERSON POV/

It was their fourth day here, and tomorrow they're going back to Busan. Everything was going better than expected, Jennie's guilt had slowly drained out of her system, Lisa's charm continued to win over Chaerin and Ella's heart — especially when Lisa cooked dinner for them, a Thai food her mom taught her to make back in the old days (even Jennie was surprised).

Today, they decided to have a picnic (Chaerin gave Ella a permission to skip school for a day, and it was Friday, after all). Chaerin and Jennie were both sitting on the blanket, watching Lisa and Ella playing soccer. "I'm so happy it's her you bring home," Chaerin suddenly said, and when Jennie turned to face her, her gaze was fond and locked on Lisa.

"I'm happy it's her who brings me home," Jennie replied. "She... I'd never have the courage if it weren't for her."

Chaerin looked at her intently, then she asked. "I thought you wanted to come home?"

Jennie turned at her mom when she heard the tone the older Kim was using. "Mom, I want to be here, trust me on that. It's just... I was scared. I want to come home, but I was too afraid to even think about it. T-to think about what would happen once I'm here again with all the memories and feelings and... everything. And when I told Lisa about it, her first response was telling me I should come home," Jennie gulped before continuing. "That's what I need. For her to tell me that I — that nothing will happen because you and Ella will love me just the same. And I believe her. I... I need someone who's going to tell me I won't be alone... and she's that person, mom. She promises to be by my side through all this, and that's what I need. I need her to be my strength."

"Jennie," Chaerin sighed. "You're my daughter. I-I honestly don't understand why you'd think I — or Ella — would have a different response to you coming home?"

"Ella won't even look at me in the eyes the first days I'm here," Jennie scoffed.

"She's always been a shy girl, Jennie,"

"She has, but to me? I'm her sister!" Jennie hissed, glancing at Lisa and Ella who are fortunately still focused on the ball.

"And can you blame her? You... you —" Chaerin stalled, and Jennie felt a lump in her throat.

"I ran away from home. You can say it, mom. It's the truth," Jennie smiled sadly. "And exactly. I ran away from home, so the only acceptable response from you and Ella is — I don't know, anger? You should be angry at me. Hell, you should hate me, even. I left you, both of you. So where did I go wrong for expecting the worst? Because I know I deserve the worst outcome for what I did."

"You're out of your mind to think that I would even think about hating you, Jennie," Chaerin said with a low voice, trying to not attract the two's attention. "You're my daughter. I only have you and Ella. What good do you think will bring me from hating you? I'll only feel more empty, Jennie, that's why I couldn't — and won't ever — hate you. Because I love you. I love you and Ella because you're my daughters, my blood and flesh, my family, my pride — you're the only good things in my life, and you're the only ones I have left!" Chaerin stared at Jennie with wide eyes, as if it hurt her that Jennie would even consider that (it did). "Yes, I was hurt when you decided to leave us. But did I make it a reason to hate you? No! God, you hurt me and I love you more because I never, ever want to lose you."

"That's how much I love you, Jennie," Chaerin continued, even when Jennie's cheeks were wet and her sniffles were prickling Lisa's ears. "So, you keep that in mind. I love you. Ella loves you. We forgive you, and now it's your turn to forgive yourself. Because the only one who hates you right now is you. I see it in your eyes, honey. You're guilty, so, so guilty, but I need you to forgive yourself so you can finally be free. I don't want you flying back to Busan still carrying all this guilt."