Love Lost

A Beam of Hope

Forth POV

Barbaric.
Shameless.
Rude.
Problem-child.

Those are the typical words used to describe me. Well it's true that I'm barbaric. Probably due to my not so ideal childhood.

I grew up in a broken family which may be the cause of my behavior despite the good upbringing I received from my dad. I don't know, perhaps it's my innate nature. I splurge my money on useless things. I can't keep a relationship for too long. The only thing left for me to is buy drugs and do other shady things then you can finally say that my life is complete garbage. But I still believe that I should hold back on those, at least for daddy's sake.

But something unexpected happened in my life. Someone truly loved me despite all the flaws that I had.

Putting aside all the negative description about my character, I am nothing but a complete package in terms of physical appearance. I'm tall, handsome, and physically fit. But I think those descriptions made my behavior even worse. Due to the debauchery of youth, I didn't think that I can hurt so many people and one of them is the only person who sincerely loved everything about me.

I've known Beam since collge but we were not particularly close. He's just your typical college student, the kind the blends in the background if you do not know him personally. He's also not attractive. He had a flat nose, flabby chubby, and he came from a poor family. But despite all those flaws, he's particularly intelligent. He's always part of their college's Dean's List.

I knew then that he likes me as told by a number of our common friends but I never did show interest in him. Actually, I detest him for some reason but I'm completely blank as to why.

Beam and I graduated the same year, only he took Nursing while I was in Engineering. After graduation, I didn't hear from him anymore as he was essentially a stranger to me. Well, as I said I really didn't like him and our only connection was my cousin Summer who's Beam's bestfriend. But what I didn't anticipate was that we were bound to meet three years after.

I was bummed then because my partner, Wayo, broke off with me. He's a junior in college and when I graduated we became official. I really courted him because I was completely drawn to his playful personality. With Wayo, my barbaric and violent tendencies lessened but of course we can't help that there were times that we have arguments because I'm the jealous type.

I was hopelessly in love with Wayo and when he decided to go abroad for his MBA's internship. I made him choose.

"Your MBA or me?" I boldly ask him after we had another argument about him leaving.

Wayo looked at me and said coldly, "My MBA."

My jaw dropped and my heart sank. He told me his answer point blank.

"I can't believe this. We talked about this a thousand times already. I'm deeply hurt. I thought you will support me on this." Wayo added. He maintained his eyes connected with mine before turning around and walking to the door.

"Unlike you phi, the Panichasayawad Group will be handed to me in the future. I cannot fail my father as you kept failing yours." Wayo said before disappearing.

In the end, Wayo left me because of my own selfishness. I was confused on what to do that time. I ended up going back with my bad habits like going home drunk every night.

But one fateful night, I drew the joker, and I crashed my car to a tree. I remember swerving to the side to avoid an obstacle to the road then...

*screeeeechhhh* *crash*

Next thing I knew, I was lying down while being rolled somewhere. A male nurse kept calling my name, "Forth! Forth!". I couldn't recognize his face because I was woozy. When I was stationary, I saw bright white lights before I lost consciousness.