Midnight Breeze (Chasing Dreams Series #3) | C O M P L E T E D

Chapter 32

Warning: SPG
Please read at your own risk.

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After parking my car in the basement, I glanced at the rear view mirror to check my face. Kanina'y naka-ponytail, sinuklay ko ang sabog kong buhok. My eyes were moist and my lips were so red. Naghanap ako ng makeup na ipangtatapal sa mukha kong tila napaglipasan ng panahon.

"Damn it... I couldn't believe that I'm doing all of these for him..." lasap na lasap ko ang pakla sa bibig ko.

I went in the restroom located at the lobby to change my clothes. From a liberated woman in her midnight blue drawstring ribbed bodycon dress, I transformed into a innocent, demure girl that's hiding in her school uniform.

I reek of alcohol and cigarette so I took out the perfume and almost spilled the whole bottle on my body. Nagtagal ang titig ko roon. I shouldn't really care 'cause he would still know... Hindi na dapat ako apektado na may pakialam siya sa akin. After all, we're just using each other. We shouldn't really care 'cause this is all for a show...

Sumakay ako sa elevator at pinindot ang buton para sa tamang palapag. Dalawang beses pa akong nilingon ng kasabay ko; iniisip na siguro'y napapraning na ako dahil madaling araw na'y naka-sunglasses pa rin ako.

Stopping at the 30th floor, I tried to calm myself down. I could feel the hollow in my stomach as I slowly walked my way to my husband's unit. Isinuksok ko 'yung sunglasses sa props kong bag. Then I slid our wedding ring on my finger, silently cursing 'cause I almost dropped it. Pumikit ako ng mariin gawa ng paghahari ng pagod at kaba sa akin.

It's past 2 in the morning. Sana'y natutulog na lang siya, ngunit alam kong imposible iyon. Walang mintis ang paghihintay niya sa pagdating ko sa loob ng tatlong buwan naming pananatili dito. He would always wait for me patiently despite of being worn out from work. And I would always... wear a smile on my face when we're together. I would always pretend that I'm happy with our marriage even though I'm not...

I entered the passcode. February 20 was the date of our wedding. I find it corny that he values it so much like a treasure, but I won't let him know that. One final deep breath and I pushed the door open. I'm back to being a good and loving wife now...

There were long steps before I reached the living room. The lights were on and the air was chilly. I turned to the left and looked at my own reflection on the glass walls. Para akong nakakulong sa isang dimensyon dahil ang tanawing buhay na buhay ilang oras ang nakararaan ay nagmistulang portal na magdadala sa akin sa lugar na walang ibang nakakaalam.

Suminghap ako at iniwas na ang tingin doon. For three months, the city lights served as my clock. When the buildings lightens up, that's the time when I'll face the world and turn myself into a woman I am not. I'll go to some bar or club to enjoy the night life like what the other girls usually does. I'll drink moderately, smoke some cigarettes, and meet some guys that I'd turn down 'cause I know what they want. Doing those things are out of my character, I know. That isn't me, but I'm wishing to be just like that because my life would be more easier and fun.

But when the lights dies down like what I'm seeing right now, that's my cue to go back to the place where I really belong. 'Cause no matter where I go, no matter what I do, the painful reality will pull me back in here—back to the life that I chose. And you know what's worse? I could never complain. I wanted this. I needed this. Mahal na mahal ko siya, eh. Na kahit hindi niya tinupad 'yung mga pangako niya sa akin, hinayaan ko na lang dahil gano'n ako ka-lambot pagdating sa kanya. 'Di bale nang masaktan at magpakatanga dahil ito lang naman ang alam kong paraan para angkinin siya at ipagdamot sa iba. 'Di bale nang... mahulog sa sariling bitag; ang mahalaga'y ako ang uuwian niya.