Killing Samuel and Moving On

Letter Five

Dear Dean,

Your wounds are still open.

I know this to be true.
No matter how much you tell me that you're better and how much time has healed what Blake broke in two seconds...

I know that you're lying.

Healing takes time.
And time is the very thing that you refuse to give it.
So while your lips spout lies
and eyes shine fake light,
I need you to know
that I can still see the pain that's hidden underneath.

Why?

Because the damaged
see the damaged.

And I see you, Dean.

I see you.

I know you never want to hear anything about this.
And since oral communication
has failed to deliver
what we all want for you.
Then I'll have to rely on the written.

You know that receptionist
that looks at you
like you put every star in the sky?
Go on that date with him.
Return his pining, moon glazed looks.
Smile your half crescent smile
of teasing.
But always, always, give him a full one when no one's looking.

Kiss him under the sun because it's cliché to do it in the rain.
Fight under the rain because that's a cliché we're all lowkey here for.

Have sex when
you realize you've fallen in love.
Or, have sex when
the sexual tension has finally become too much and you can't stand waiting anymore.
Either way, have sex!
Jesus Christ, even Jin's feeling a little something from you two and he's not even gay.

You hear me?
You guys are gaying so hard for each other that the hetero's can feel it!

Dean, you deserve a happy ending.
After everything you've done and everything you've been through,
you deserve that and so much more.

I promise you, Blake won't mind.

Blake was your first love.
Nothing will ever change that.
He will always be a part of your story.
Just because he's gone doesn't mean he's truly left.
A part of him will always live on within your heart.
Mine and Dove's.
And Feebs, she forgave you both a long time ago.
Blake lives on in her heart too.

Blake was your first love.
First.
Meaning there's room
for plenty more.
You need only be brave enough to open your heart to the possibilities.

Dean, it's ok to be happy.
It's ok to smile for real.
It's ok to fall in love with someone else.

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting.

Blake would want you to be happy.
We all want you to be happy.

It's time to stop saving other people and start saving yourself.
You deserve to live your life.

So, go ahead and jump.
We'll be there to catch you.

I promise.

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