Secrets

Chapter 14

*Gibbs POV*
"What did he mean by that?" Ziva asked.
"Jayden." Griffin said.
"Well, how can she become Jayden?" Mcgee asked.
"You'll see, she's done it before." Maddie said, causing all of us to get confused.

*Kelly's POV*
I tried fighting it off but it was too strong. I didn't want this to happen.
"Just let it out." Mawher said. I started shaking.

"No."
"Last time this happened, you almost killed someone. Until Jayden stopped you. You fought Kevin. He was the one nicest to you other than Emily. Well, my bad, Maddie. You wanna hurt me, go for it." I couldn't help it anymore, I attacked. Not realizing how much damage I was doing. I ended up on top of him, he grabbed a needle and injected me. I rolled off him, towards the camera.

I grabbed my shoulder, yanking the needle out. I wanted to kill him but was becoming weak. I didn't bother fighting it, I would rather be weak than become what I just did. My eyes became heavy, I eventually fell into unconsciousness.

When I came to I was in the hospital, I was dazed and confused. I didn't feel anything, other than numb. I looked around, checking the time. A little after 3. Everyone else was asleep, I didn't bother them. Dad came into the room, very quiet of course. He kissed my head, asking how I felt.

"Numb, confused." I could have said more, but didn't. Griffin was right beside me, sleeping, I talked with dad quietly. I didn't want to ask this question but I needed to. I had no memory of what happened after I was unconscious. All I remember was fighting him.

"Dad" I whispered, he was sitting in the chair right beside me.
"Yeah, Kelly"
"D-did um-" I was cut off.
"No, he didn't. Get some sleep." I nodded before going back to sleep.
When I woke up everyone else was up. We ordered food, everyone left to go get it other than Griffin and the girls. I held Shannon, while Griffin and I talked.

"Kelly?"
"Yeah." I looked at him.
"I'm sorry, about the fight. But, one thing that's been on my mind was, why didn't you tell me about them?"
"I-I, uh, I knew how it looked and I knew that regardless of what I said, they would think I was lying. And I didn't want to lose y'all or my family, my kids, my job."
"You wouldn't have lost us" he said, wrapping his arms around me.

Isabelle had woken up, we talked with her for a while until dad and them got back. After we ate the doctor told me that the drugs are out of my system and that I could go home. I was still feeling weak, and extremely drained. Griffin helped me to the car and we went home.

Once we were home I took a shower, changing into leggings and a black t-shirt. then we had lunch. I played with Shannon while we watched a movie. A little while later, Shannon fell asleep. I put her to bed, I heard the front door open. I walked back into the front room noticing Maddie.

I wasn't entirely sure that the drugs were gone. I sat by Griffin, clinging to him not wanting to lash out.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, sitting down beside me.
"I feel fine." I said, not making eye contact with her. Mike was a bit confused but not as confused as Griffin.
"Kelly, they're out of your system. It's okay." she said, putting her hand on my arm. I tensed up, not wanting to hurt anyone. I was told I nearly killed Mawher. My past was still bothering me and now all this too. I didn't want this. I didn't want to hurt or nearly kill anyone.

"Mad, d-don't touch me." I said, still not making eye contact, she removed her hand from my arm.
"C-can we call the team over." Griffin nodded, They were glad to come over.

"I'm happy to be here but why are we here?" DiNozzo said.
"Because." They all sat down, I stood up. I closed my eyes before speaking.

"To answer your question about if I'm on drugs. Technically, yes and no. I say that because I have been on drugs before, but willingly, no." I stopped, to see their reaction.

"But so has Maddie, for the most part. So has Mike.-"
"Yet you're the one who got the injections more." Maddie cut in.
"Maybe, maybe more than you know. Jayden started injecting us with the drugs based on the mood he was in. if he wanted us to fight and a challenge, then he'd give us the aggression drug. Which is why I attacked Mawher. If he wanted us to be weak, vulnerable, helpless then he would inject us with the weakness drug."

"He gave you the weakness drug more." Mike said.
"Cause he knew I'd fight back, he tried the aggression drug, it only worked with y'all because y'all didn't entirely want to fight back, y'all knew the consequences."
"So did you." Maddie said.

"Yeah but did I care? No. I was actually the smallest, but I had so much anger and I had planned so much stuff that when he injected me I could actually do it. That's why he did it once, well for that time." I paused, looking at Maddie.

"When Mawher talked about me almost killing someone, I did almost kill Kevin. If you give the right dosage you can show a picture of the target to them and they'll have so much anger and only that picture in mind. They'll kill anyone who stands in their way. And that's what happened, when I attacked Maddie. I would have killed her if it wasn't for Jayden pulling me off her, then Kevin tried getting me to calm down and I broke his arm."

"Why would he do that?" Abby asked.
"He wanted to see how much anger I really had, he didn't succeed the first time that's why he switched to the weakness drug. Once I was calm, I tried to help Maddie. But she was scared of me, I locked myself in my room for days. Then Jayden told me I became just like him. And that he was proud. I guess that's why he took Kevin and Mike, to make them like him. I sat in the room for days, contemplating suicide. billions of ways to do it, but none seemed perfect. An eye for an eye type thing. I know I almost beat her to death, so that was my desicion. I'd stop fighting, resisting, everything. Until it evntually killed me."
"You said maybe more than we know, what did that mean?" Maddie asked.
"Every person who hurt us, they all injected us. Since we were 6. But, Penn also injected me. With a mix of both. Almost everyday, I don't know how nobody noticed. Antonio did the same, mainly the weakness. Just to make me feel vulnerable. Mark did the same that's why I didn't scream or move when he did whatever the hell it was he did. Dr. Holt did the same."

"What about Jason?" Madde asked.
"Yeah, he did. Mainly both. If we fought and it turned physical, which it always did, it was the weakness drug. Sad thing is, I knew, I knew that what he was doing was wrong. I knew I should've left, but something was holding me back. I didn't realize that I had become as scared of Jason as I was of Jayden. Maybe even worse. That's why I said don't touch me, just because they're out of my system doesn't mean that I still won't lash out. But, while i'm being honest about this shit.... It wasn't just to make you aggressive or like a helpless little puppy."
"What do you mean?" Maddie asked.
"They also made me do actual drugs. Meth, cocaine, heroine. A lot more that I can't really remember."

"So, you've been on drugs since you were 6." ziva said.
"Yeah, but I hope this was the last time." Something tells me it won't and next time I lash out, it won't be good.