To Be Young And In Love In New York City

Chapter 20: "Son Of A Motherless Goat!"

The tension in the air was palpable. The passionate atmosphere that Niki was in moments before Abri entered the room seemed to have drained itself out, an unfamiliar, uncomfortable one taking its place.

It was safe to say that they were busted.

Niki's mind couldn't come up with a single excuse. The kiss between them? It was never meant to happen. Sure they had come really close to doing it once before but yet, it was unanticipated. She didn't even know why Jay had kissed her. Did he feel the same way about her as she did? He did trust her with his most personal details, he did take her places and he did spend the night with her but did they all mean anything? Individually? Maybe no. Collectively? She didn't know.

Even if he did like her, there was no way in hell Niki would ever be with him. A relationship was the last thing she wanted. She was in a bad, bad place mentally and Jay shouldn't have to deal with that. She knew for a fact that if he found out about what she was going through, he would do everything he could to help her. But she didn't want help. She wanted to do it alone which was the only reason she refused to tell Colette.

Her mind was getting sidetracked. At the moment, she had to focus on Abri who was standing in the doorframe, her arms crossed as she scowled at them both. They were in a shitload of trouble. What on earth would she possibly say to defend herself from the fact that she kissed her friend's brother? On the day their parents died?

It was strange to see Abri angry. She was mostly a happy-go-lucky girl who almost always had a fat smile on her face, always laughed at everything, was so overly-hyper that no one could keep up with her energy. Sure she had her down times-given her past, it was justified but to see her angry? It didn't feel right.

"Abri," Niki began, clearing her throat, "I can explain-"

"It was my fault," Jay cut in, cautiously watching Abri's expression, "I kissed her."

"You couldn't pick another time?" She asked in disgust, shaking her head in dissapointment. "How long has this been going on for?"

"It hasn't," Jay answered her, "This was a one-time thing. It was a mistake."

Mistake? Was that really what the kiss was to him? A mistake?

And to think he might actually like her.

"Go home, Niki," Abri said through gritted teeth, looking at the ground, a deep frown resting on her face.

Niki knew better than to push her buttons and got off the bed. She could feel Jay's gaze burning into the side of her face but she ignored him. Grabbing her bag, she walked out of the room not before giving Abri a side glance but her eyes refused to meet hers.

She sighed. How had so much gone wrong in one day?

*

Niki flushed the toilet, watching her lunch go down the drain. She wiped the tears off her eyes and looked in mirror to check if it looked like she had cried. Her pink nose, flushed cheeks and watery eyes would definitely give her away if she didn't fix herself.

For the first time in her life, she wished she had makeup in her bag. Some of that skin-coloured liquid that she had seen Colette put on sometimes would've come in handy. But all she had was water and paper napkins to make her look normal.

Doing the best she could, she walked out of the bathroom. She could see Jenna seated behind the cashier, silently doing her work. She wondered why she barely spoke to them. The most interaction she had with Jenna since she started working was when  she asked her if she saw her glasses anywhere. On a daily basis, Niki simply got a good morning nod and a see-you-tomorrow nod. Matthew told her that she didn't like speaking a lot.