To Be Young And In Love In New York City

Chapter 22: "Pinkie Promise"

Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide.

Niki sighed.

Once again that week, all of her lunch had gone down the drain.

Falling to the ground, she perched herself against her bedroom wall, pulling her knees close to her chest.

It was too much. Everything going on was too much.

Tears came streaming down and she didn't bother wiping them away. She had been holding everything in for too long.

She hurt the one person she liked the most, the one person that made everything better. She pushed him away and it was killing her inside. It was killing her that by pushing him away she was hurting him, but what other choice did she have?

She had to protect him. She had to protect him from the monsters in her head that harmed her and would harm him too if she didn't push him away. She would never be able to live with the guilt if that ever happened. Maybe he was upset, but he'd get over it. He'd find another girl that would treat him the way he deserved to be treated, and he would forget all about her. He'd move on.

Though that was what she wanted, thinking about it pained her. The thought of him with somebody else...........

Brushing away her thoughts, she got up and wiped her tears using the back of her hand.

Just don't think about it. It's not going to get better.

She grabbed her to-do list and took a look it at. There was one last time item left to be checked off.

Take out the garbage.

Dragging herself to the kitchen, she pulled the black garbage bag out of the dustbin and tied it close. Approaching the door, she opened it and walked out. After disposing the big bag, she made her way back to the apartment.

"Niki?"

She turned her head sideways. Standing at the threshold of his door stood Mr. Hudson, occupant of Apartment 21A. Niki smiled at him; it had been a long time since she had seen him.

"Hey, Mr. Hudson. How are you?"

"I'm well!" He grinned at her. He was always overly-joyful but Niki didn't mind it- after how messy her life turned out to be, a little contagious joy would be helpful. "Whatcha up to?"

"Oh, I was just taking out the garbage. What about you?"

"I was just about to make myself some tea! I love having tea parties by myself. You want to join?"

Niki shrugged. It wasn't like she had the mood to start working on her essay. "Sure, why not?"

When she entered his house, she noticed that it had the same exact structure her apartment did, but if it was flipped sideways. Her kitchen was on the right while his was on the left, and her bedroom was on the left while his was on the right. For some reason, she found it creepy.

"Sit down, now."

Her living room was no match for his. It was the coziest room she had ever seen or been in. The lights weren't flashy white like hers; instead they radiated a warm, orange glow. String lights hung on the wall and there were several pictures of cats also hanging. The couches were a soft cream colour, while the huge glass windows that were similar to hers were covered behind blue curtains, making her feel less vulnerable. She wondered why she never got curtains for her windows.

"Do you want herbal tea or yellow tea?" He asked, holding up a kettle.

"Um, herbal."

Pouring hot water into a cup, he placed a herbal tea bag on the saucer, and pushed a bowl of sugar cubes towards her. Sitting down, she took the saucer along with the cup, dipping her tea bag in it. Mr. Hudson mimicked her, sitting down. She wondered what flavour he chose.