gone. (draco malfoy)

62 - i'm sorry

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Jade's POV✨
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"So what happened?" I sighed as I sat down on the edge of my bed and watched as Ryder moped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"It was the night that Draco asked me to use the poly juice potion. He asked if I could check on his dorm for him and when I walked in, she was there," He sighed and took a seat beside me on the bed, "In his bed."

My eyes were still glossy and swollen from crying and I could feel the tears starting to form again.

God, I hate crying.

Ryder must've noticed the watering in my eyes starting again, because he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I didn't notice her at first, she was buried in a pile of envelopes. But when I took a look around at his dorm, she woke up." He whispered shamefully as he looked down at his nervous hands.

"And she thought I was Draco."

I accidentally gasped and I saw Ryder's eyes shoot you to meet mine nervously after hearing my reaction.

"And then what?" I said in a barely audible whisper, unable to make my voice any louder.

"She ran up and...kissed me," He sighed and then looked at me guiltily, "and I kissed her back."

"W-why?" I choked out, as I felt my eyes become more and more watery.

Damnit, Jade. Don't cry.

He looked at me like he had just committed a crime he regretted and I watched as tears started to form in his eyes too, threatening to pool out.

"I-I don't know," he confessed as he took a deep breath and shook his head, "I thought maybe I had feelings for her, but it was all bullshit."

"I just hated the fact that you were so far away from me, and that you got to spend everyday with him..." He sighed, meeting my eyes again, "I know it's not an excuse, but I do love you, Jade. So much."

I felt the tears start to fall down my face and as I brought my hand up to quickly wipe them away, Ryder grabbed my wrist before I could.

"Don't," he choked out, about to cry as well, "Stop hiding your emotions. Let it all out, please."

I let my hand relax in his grip for a moment as I allowed myself to cry. I felt extremely vulnerable, especially in front of him after what he had just confessed of doing.

Let it all out, he said.

Feeling my emotions rise to the surface, I ripped my hand out of his grasp and brought it up to slap him.

My bottom lip was trembling, scared of what his reaction would be and immediately regretted my decision.

Ryder's father abused him as a child. He still had trauma from it all and I just slapped him. It was bad enough watching Draco hit him, and I knew I had to do something since Ryder was just submitting to the pain like he always did with his father when he was younger.