Second Chance

Chapter 15

Seoul, 1999

Who says you can do anything you want when you're twenty ? Reality is not that simple. It's only a few months since Songhwa knew Ikjun. It's not like they've known each other for a long time. But why it hurts so much when he told her that he's dating someone ?! She feels like a fool how she cried that night in her room. She even told her roommate that she wants to go home for a few days to calm her mind. And it needs two days to Jeongwon finally called her asked her where is she, why she didn't came to the class. It's not like her missing the class. And it took a week for Ikjun to text her "Songhwa-ya, where are you ?". She came to their band practice after a week. She took all the courage she had to stood in front of him, she snapped her fingers "what are you thinking Ikjun-ah, gwaenchanha ?" and his answer still could made her heart fluttered "you're here. I'm okay now".
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"Songhwa-ya, are you crying ?" Songhwa didn't notice that she cried until Jeongwon called her. "What's wrong Songhwa-ya ?". Songhwa hurriedly wiped her tears with a picture in her hands.
"Aanii, i'm okay" Songhwa took a few books in front of her and pack them up to her bags while Jeongwon took the picture from her hands. It was a picture they took when they first met at the storage with Songhwa's camera. Jeongwon looks up to her "are you really okay ?" Songhwa still didn't say anything while looking at the picture in Jeongwon's hand. And when she looked at him, she smiled.
"I am. I don't know maybe i'm a bit sleepy before, didn't realized my tears came out" she's trying to show Jeongwon that everything's ok, until Jeongwon said something.
"I don't know what's in his head, i also surprise when he said he's dating Lee Yuna". Songhwa feels like her body was going to collapse, she feels like she couldn't hold her tears again. She wipes her eyes right away. "Jeongwon-ah, let's go find something to eat!" but Jeongwon still looking at her
"Songhwa-ya, why didn't you just tell him ?"
"What are you talking about ?"
"I mean you can tell him about what you feel"
"Jeongwon-ah, i don't think i could. Besides i promise myself that i should move on, we're on the first year, what we need more is study, not dating, right ?"
Jeongwon chuckles to see how Songhwa affirming herself with her situation. "If you need anything, just call me, arraseo ?" She nodded as they walk out from the library. That was the last time they talk about this.
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Jeongwon saw Songhwa and Ikjun were acting normal after that, it was awkward at first, but lately they're seem comfortable around each other. He thought that she finally had moved on. And it was assured when a few months later she told the gang that she was dating Hwang Simok sunbaenim. He noticed Seokhyung was in silent, he always thought that Seokhyung likes Songhwa before, because how he looks at her frequently. But, a little bit surprised to him was how Ikjun reacted. He's not just in silent, his facial expression is totally blank. He's there but he seems didn't listening. He went clubbing since then. And one day Yuna called him to pick him up at the club because he's too drunk. Ikjun was totally drunk, but his face was so sad, he was like almost crying but he didn't. Jeongwon never saw him like this before. His gaze was blank, he looks lost. Lee Ikjun never show his vulnerable side like this before.

Just before he passed out, Ikjun was looking at Jeongwon and said something like assuring himself, just like what Songhwa did "i'll be fine Jeongwon-ah, i've already thrown that away, it's gone. She's...gone" Ikjun stood there looking down "i'll be fine, i will".

Right at the moment he knew Ikjun just got heartbroken. And that girl was Songhwa. Jeongwon wants to say the same thing to him like what he said to Songhwa a few months ago, but he couldn't do that. As Jeongwon remember how she's excited to tell him about Simok sunbae who brought a bucket of flower for her and asked her to celebrate New Years Eve together. She was genuinely happy.
I will not interfere, that was his thought. He told himself he will buried this like he didn't know any of this. Because seems like his two bestfriend decided to move on and chooses friendship after all. If they're meant to be, they will be.