Second Chance

Chapter 16

Are we ready now,
to accepting the love we deserve ?

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"Mianhae"
Finally someone broke the silence, however Songhwa doesn't expect Jeongwon to apologize.

"Why you're sorry ?" Songhwa asked him
"I shouldn't mention about the past. I don't know why i said all of that before"
Songhwa knew Jeongwon probably remember the moment she cried in the library twenty years ago, but she didn't know if Jeongwon also knew about what Ikjun feels for her. She wonders if Jeongwon knew, why he never told her. Is it the same reason when i say i will move on ?

"Aaniyaa Jeongwon-ah, what happened in the past is not important for now. It's not that we pick something left from twenty years ago, it's us starting over. And what happened during this twenty years is a choice we make and no one should be blamed for that. I'm okay or even years ago before we're working in the same hospital. And so does Ikjun."

Junwan looks at Songhwa and he knows she tells the truth. Junwan realized that it's not only Songhwa who heartbroken, so did Ikjun. Twenty years ago they're too young to handle their inner conflict. It's only two of them, Ikjun and Songhwa, they never tell the gang on what's happening to them. They never let their vulnerable side appear in front of everyone, including their bestfriend. He knows Ikjun since high school yet he never really can reach him. And sometimes it makes him feel bad as his bestfriend. Just like how Ikjun handles his divorce. And so did Songhwa, the moment she told the gang about her biopsy. When the two of them manage their bad moments in their life, the courage they have must come from the pieces they put together in the past.

"Ikjun-ah, i thought that you never liked a girl first before. Mianhae, for not seeing this"
Ikjun chuckles at Junwan, how can this prick didn't know i like Songhwa when he could date my sister ?

"Also, mianhae, for what i said before" Junwan hands a can of coke to Ikjun, he smirks looking at Junwan's act, knowing how he could say sorry easily now, and why he still didn't tell him about Iksun. He takes the coke and turn his sight to Seokhyung who's still looking down to the table without saying anything.

"Seokhyung-ah...." he looks up to Ikjun.
"I'm fine, Songhwa is fine. And you know what, i have Uju. I wouldn't trade him for anything, even it's a time machine to change of what happened twenty years ago. There's a lot of regrets when we were young, and i think it's fine. I pursued Songhwa now to make up for that, so that i'll never regret again for the rest of my life" Seokhyung looks at him, he knows Ikjun will always be like that, even it's not him, he'll still do the same all over again sincerely.

The thing about friendship is not always about helping each other. It's about being there for each other. That's what matters to Ikjun. He chose friendship over his feelings, because he cherished Seokhyung and Songhwa at the same time. Choosing one of them doesn't mean letting go the other. He knew he has regrets, but what he has now is bigger than what he could imagine.

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Songhwa feels good after they told the gang about their relationship. It means, when she comeback to Seoul by end of this month she doesn't need to hide their relationship. It's not that she wants everyone to know, but it's better at least her bestfriends, her close colleague in the hospital know it so they wouldn't talk about it or make a fuss behind her back.

Because Songhwa leaves her car at the hospital, Ikjun drives her back to her apartment. She plays the radio in his car and it plays Etude of Memories by Kim Dong Ryul, it was a soundtrack for Architecture 101. It's one of her favorite song and movie. She remembers watching that movie before Ikjun getting married. The movie gave her an insight that first love always hold special place in someone's life, but it doesn't mean they should pursue it for the last. The ending is quite realistic, even though in her little heart she's still hope that the main characters will end up with each other. The movie gave big impact to Songhwa to realize the moment Ikjun decided to get married that was the time she's letting go for sure of her feelings for Ikjun that had been buried years ago in the deepest part of her heart.