dancer in the dark | frerard ✓

xxv

"that day, this post..", frank mumbles, he looks down to his shaky hands as he studies the picture thoroughly. "i think about this day every time i come here. we had so much fun and, well, he's gone. i can't stand it."

"is.. is that why you stopped coming here?"

frank sadly nods. "yeah but.. everywhere i go, it reminds me of him. we did everything together, it's impossible to get them out of my head..", he says with his eyes focused on the carpet. he shakes his head, closing mikey's post and heads onto ray's account, pressing on the fifth recent picture.

"oh, that's-"

"yeah.. that's the day we all decided to meet up altogether with ray.", he says. "i wonder how ray's doing."

"i called him yesterday, he's.. he's coping.", mikey explains. "it's hard for him. he's known gerard since high school, they stuck with each other and.."

"yeah.. i get it, i'm glad to hear he's okay."

mikey hesitates to answer. "me too."

frank fidgets with his phone, biting his lower lip. he opens up his gallery app.

"can i.. can i talk more about gee?"

"sure."

mikey peers over his shoulder, watching as frank uses his finger to swipe through his photos. he pauses on one of them, recalling the memories associated with it as he begins to speak.

"this.. this was where we went before.. before the incident.", he tenses up at the thought of it. "we.. uh.. we went on a date, i mean, we went on a ton of dates! it's just that, this date was like a proper one. one where he actually picked me up and drove me to a restaurant in town."

"that's cool."

"yeah, it was. we shared our first proper kiss there.", frank recalls with a small smile. "we also exchanged our first actual 'i love you's."

"didn't you tell each other that, like, every day?"

"well, those were over text, those don't count. 'i love you' hits differently in real life.", he answers, he hands mikey his phone. "that was the best day of my life, and from then, we would say we love each other and-"

mikey holds his phone, cupping it in his hand. "frank, you don't have to tell me anything.", he says. "hey, we don't have to talk about gee. you're here because i haven't heard from you in days and i was.. worried."

"o-oh.", frank feels his heart drop. "i'm.. i'm sorry for worrying you, mikey. i didn't mean to isolate myse-"

"save it. it's okay, i'm just glad you're still here.", mikey admits softly as his eyes fall upon the screen. "your relationship with gee'.. if it's too personal, we could always talk about something else."

"but i want to talk about it! i've kept everything bottled up for so long that i might die if i don't tell anyone."

the other sighs. "okay, only if you insist."

"thanks.", he sighs, trying to remember where he left off. "oh! uh, this might sound way too sappy for your liking but gerard told me the sweetest things."

"sappy? gerard? that doesn't sound like the gee' i know.", mikey jokes. "but wow. really?"

"yes, really.", frank confirms, chuckling lightly. "he'd always text me 'morning sugar' and he'd compliment me, give me his clothes whenever it was too cold.. it was sweet, i loved everything about him."

mikey hums. "i can tell.", he says. "you know, he loved everything about you too."

“oh?”

“why do you sound so surprised? sometimes the only thing he’d talk about is you. he could go on for hours and never shut up.”

"o-oh.. wow, i feel special.", frank gushes, smiling slightly as he tugs the hem of his sleeve. 

"you are, i mean, you were very special to gerard.", mikey affirms. "even though i wasn't so sure about it at first, you guys were perfect for each other. you made gerard happy, and he made you happy. it was like a match made in heaven."

"but..", frank sighs sadly, shaking his head as he frowns. "..not all good things last forever."

"i know frank, i know.", he reaches to pat his back, slowly placing his hand on his shoulder as frank takes the opportunity to lean into his side.

"the call.. that stupid call was the last time i heard from him."

mikey flinches. "stupid?", he repeats, almost sneering the word. "how was it stupid?"

"he should've called the police."

"but he didn't.", mikey argues back. "he called you."

"he didn't have to call me, he could've saved himself."

"but he didn't.", he repeats again, this time, more slowly so his words would go through his skull. "he knew it was the end. you saw the report, and gee' knew damn well that he wasn't going to make it."

"he should've believed in himself, and stayed strong. he should've believed he was going to stay alive."

"but he didn't."

"and that's what i wanted to fix, i wanted to make him believe in himself and-"

"he thought of you frank.", mikey finally heaves out. "you brought so much love in his life that the only thing he could think of is you, you were the one that kept him going. if you being the last thing he wanted to hear isn't enough, then i don't know what to say."