Courtney's Secrets (The Clandestine Series)

Admit four

It was lunchtime, and we went to school, because Davianté didn't want to miss a test in his fifth hour class. He offered to take me home, but that was the last place I wanted to be. He had a sad as an emo expression as we parted ways, like he felt responsible for me that I'm sure was unintentional. I pretended not to notice.

The lunchroom was filled with chatter and the smells of cafeteria food. I spotted Lan at our table in the back. She had the cutest strip of pink on the top of her black hair. Kim must have done it last night.

She sat next to Rachel and Vicky, our friends that we sat with at lunch. Vicky, with her hair in a side French braid, unwrapped a piece of cheese from a wrapper while Rachel recoiled. Rachel was passionate about a great amount of topics, such as why humans thought it was ok to eat and drink milk products. She thought cheese was gross, and Vicky thought it was funny to taunt her. Rachel was also preachy about women's oppression by the male species. She didn't shave, ranted about how women didn't belong to a men, and she didn't think women should have to wear shirts if men didn't have to. Vickie usually had a new book. She was a total opposite of Rachel, but they were the best of friends.

I was unsure of how Lan would react to my change in hairstyle, but I suspected she might not be thrilled about it. I took a deep breath and reluctantly strolled over. She scanned the lunchroom and looked straight at me, but I could tell it didn't register to her at first who I was because her eyes kept roaming, and then I saw her do a double take.

I opened my arms and smiled as I came to her and gave her a hug, hoping to diffuse the situation. "I love your hair," I said, over her shoulder, then I pulled away to gauge her reaction.

Her shoulders sagged, and her jaw practically unhinged. "What did you do to yours?" Her voice as sharp as a razorblade.

My heart sank. "That was... candid," I said, trying to make light of the situation. "I... I decided long hair wasn't right for me." I stuttered.

She put her hand into a bag of chips, and shoved one into her mouth but didn't turn her disapproving gaze away as I took a seat next to her at the cafeteria table. "I call bullshit. You loved it last night."

People sitting at the adjacent table quieted down at how loud Lan was, and turned to stare at us. We had known Mary and Jocelyn since elementary school. They were the first to call anyone a whore that didn't meet their dress code, or that they deemed a "serial dater"—a girl that had a new boyfriend every couple of weeks.

Lan ran her fingers through the side of my hair that was shaved and bristled. "What on Earth possessed you?"

"I like it," Rachel interjected. "It makes a statement." She put her arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze.

I laid my head on Rachel's shoulder. "Lan, can we drop it? It's just hair." I turned my gaze to Mary and Jocelyn who were making ugly faces at me from behind Lan. "What?" I said sarcastically.

They rolled their eyes and turned their backs to us.

"For whatever it's worth," Vickie straightened her glasses and said, "I support your choice. I think it's wicked sweet."

"Thanks," I said.

Lan, still steaming, lowered her voice. "For real, why did you cut your hair?"

For a moment I thought about telling the truth, about how I had been thrown to the floor and sheared like an animal, but the truth made Courtney seem psycho. I didn't need to start any more trouble between her and me, and I wouldn't put it past one of my friends to mention it to one of the counselors. Besides, it embarrassed me to the nth degree for anyone to visualize Courtney punishing me. She told me I should be ashamed of what a bad kid I was, and that anyone I told would know I deserved what I got. She said good parents beat their kids while bad parents let their kids do whatever they wanted. I supposed this had some level of truth and that this was a common belief of adults which was why I never mentioned what Courtney did. "I just... needed a change," I said.