Winston ~ an outsiders fanfic (complete)

hospitals

TW: ED, cutting scars

I woke up on the floor in the middle of the curtis' living room with my arms wrapped around Angela's waist. I got up slowly, doing my best not to disturb my girl. Once I was up I walked upstairs to Monica's room and knocked on the door.

I heard whining and then shuffling, soon monica came to the door. When she saw it was me she let me in opening the door fully. I saw dally with only his underwear on and Monica was in a bra and shorts, i ignored it and got to the reason i was in here, "do you have any clothes i can borrow i don't wanna go all the way to bucks for clothes."

"Uh, yeah sure!" she said walking to her drawer. She pulled out a pair of rather short jean shorts and a revealing red spaghetti strap crop top.

"Thanks," I said taking it to the bathroom connected to her room and changing. The shorts revealed my ass and cutting scars across my thighs along my bikini line, and went up to about my belly button. The shirt went down and revealed the top of my breasts and went to just above my belly button, showing a bit of skin.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see dally staring at me. "A-are you sure you wanna wear those shorts?" it was a mix of a question and a statement, like he was telling me to change but also asking if i wanted to wear it.

"It's fine dal, I mean the gang already knows." I said in a tone showing I didn't care. I hopped down the steps so I could be with Angela again, to find her standing there jaw dropped at my clothes.

"I'm sorry, these were the only clothes monica had that she could lend me." I apologized, faking remorse in my voice. She just enveloped me in a hug, "I'm sorry baby, i'm so, so sorry," she kept repeating it. I stayed stiff not knowing what to do.

"Why are you sorry you didn't do anything." I replied slightly confused, why was she apologizing?

"You never told me you cut yourself!" she exclaimed, pulling away and looking at me scar covered thighs.

"that's why i never wear shorts."

"Why do you do it? Why do you cut?" her voice was full of hurt and pity for me.

"Cause I deserve it. Cause when you are numb, you want to feel something, and sometimes the only feeling you can create is pain you take it." I shrugged but was becoming infuriated. "Because it ain't right to hurt everyone around you, and not get hurt!" I was yelling, not because I was mad at her but me. "Because i would rather die, than continue to feel numb!" I screamed at her.

She stepped back fear flashing in her eyes but only for a second, before they became sad again.

We walked into the kitchen to find pony, and Darry making breakfast. We were sitting down at the table and I pulled out a chair for her, she took it but laid across it covering my thighs with her head and long chocolate colored hair.

"To cover them up, so you don't have to see them." she explained and smiled a small smile up at me.

Monica and dal soon came downstairs with sodapop, luckily everyone was clothed. And then the rest of the gang came inside and sat at the table.

It was a slow saturday morning and before any of us knew it it was one in the afternoon. I had noticed Monica didn't eat much but brushed it off to that she maybe wasn't hungry today.

I looked over at Monica and nodded, we had been planning this outing for a week. We got up "darry, we're going out to the mall." Us girls got up and I grabbed my keys from the coffee table.

"Were gonna get you some new clothes." she said hopping in the back. I opened angela's door and then ran around the car and hopped over the door and into my seat. I revved the engine a few times before actually pulling out of the driveway.

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When we finally arrived in price city at the mall we had been driving for about an hour. We all got out and walked into the mall.

I eyed the stores that looked easy to 'borrow' from. I marked a few and then went in and nicked some small items. Then I saw a pair of combat boots that I was in love with. I opened my bag and put them in, then we left to find something else to do.

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As we were leaving the mall monica looked dizzy, then all at once she collapsed. We got her into the car and I pulled out of the parking lot. As soon as we were on the road I broke 100 mph. We got her to a hospital in 15 minutes and I called the boys so they knew where to go to get here.

When I was finally alone just trying to get some water someone came up behind me. "Hey, i got this new drug that helps you feel emotions better." It was a man in a white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

"Okay?" I responded confused.

"You're loan winston right?" he asked me.

"Yes."

"Well your friend told me about your... issue... and i thought you would like to try it out."

"Okay," I mean this dude seemed like a doctor.

I grabbed the pill bottle out of his hand and took it with me to my seat next to angela.