The Wanted Unwanted

chapter 45

I know I'm always making excuses. I'm not gonna make anymore.

Avery

Through out the drive, what Howard said to me kept ringing and ringing loudly. Did he really mean that.

Soon enough, we reached my apartment and a black SUV parked just at the front of my door caught my attention.
"Stop the car" I said to Howard before he got close to the car.
I immediately got down from the car before making sure I grabbed my pepper spray and walked slowly to the parked car at the front of my apartment door.

The moment I reached the passenger side of the SUV I immediately hit the window hard making me wince.
The person on the driver side immediately highlighted from inside the car and immediately fast walked to my direction. Me myself, I stationed my pepper spray in front of my face ready to attack whoever.

The minute I raised my arm to strike, I met with the shocked face of Arnold.

"What the..."
"Miss Avery" we both said at the same time.

"What are you doing here" I asked with obvious confusion written on my face.

"Uh your p..." He was cut short by the stern deep voice I know very well.

"Avery" the voice called softly. This was something I wished for 21 years of my life, for that voice to speak to Me in this manner.

I clenched my fist as I turned around to see 'my father'.

"What are you doing here?" I asked through clenched teeth as I took deep breaths to subdue the tears threatening to roll down my cheeks.

"Darling, I- we your mother and I have been here for four days but no one was inside. Where have you been? We were worried" 'my father' said with what looked like worry lines on his forehead.

I scoffed "since when did I inform you of my whereabouts?" I sneered.
"Last time I checked, I was in total custody and control of myself since day one"

A flicker of hurt made its appearance in his eyes.
I remember he has those expressive eyes I inherited from him and his eyes were speaking for him, it read 'shame, remorse and guilt' but I wasn't having any of it.

I saw his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything.
It wasn't until I felt firm fingers on my face did I realise I was crying. It was tears blurring my vision all this while.

"Don't cry, don't cry" my father said as he tried to wiped my tears away.

"Darling who're you talk... Oh dear" my mom surfaced placing her hand on her mouth when she saw me .
"Sweetheart we've looked around for you for days where have you been?" She asked.

"Away from you people" I spat.

I want my family back. I don't even know how it feels to own a family that loves you. I just want to go away. Away from my problems but the pain I've been through because of the one's I loved seemed to resurface with full force.

"Why" I asked this not even knowing the particular answer I wanted. I just wanted answers.
They looked at me with remorse and guilt written so clearly on their faces and tears in their eyes.
It seemed they too didn't know where to start their explanations from. So I decided to help them out a little.
"Why did you hate me? Why did you maltreat me? Why was I used as a repayment? Why was I rejected?
Why was I born if in the first place if I knew I would be a burden?!!!" I yelled in exasperation and a strange form of relief.
"All I wanted was to be loved and cared for not your money. I wasn't even given money in the first place since I was used as a money Hussle" I laughed bitterly with no humor or whatsoever in my voice.

I could see the fat tears on my father's face rolling and rolling down uncontrollably. My mother's sob made me look at them with only one thing on my mind.
"I can't even get answers for closure" I  again laughed bitterly.

"No- no baby give us a chance please. Just a chance" my dad pleaded with my mom by his side pleading with her eyes and hands joined together.
To be honest, I felt sorry for them but I wasn't the cause of the mess they're into. They are.

"We wi-

"Ma'am, Boss wants you home he's worried" Howard interrupted. When I looked at him quizzically he showed me his phone and truly Damon had continuously been calling and texting Howard of how it's not safe for me to be out by this time to which all has gone unanswered. The brute even threatened to take Howard's job away from him. The last call was two minutes ago, as if on cue, the phone started ringing again.
I returned the phone back to Howard and faced my parents.
"I've got to go" I said and I as turned two pairs of hands grabbed both my arms.

I flinched and backed away in shock. Only to realize that my father and mother grabbed both my arms.

"Step back sir" Howard intervained in a  hostile manner.

"I'm sorry" they both said as they let go off my arm.

I started walking towards the direction Howard parked the car when I was stopped.

"Please when can we see you again?" My mom asked in a pleading manner with tears in her eyes.

"We promise not to make you uncomfortable. We can go anywhere you wish to go. Anywhere of your choice" My father immediately added in pleadingly.

I stared at them in shock. They want to see me? Me? And that too, with a place I choose?

After what seemed like me standing in front of my parents for five minutes, I scratched my wrist nervously. A habit I recently developed.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready" I mumbled and I turned to leave when they they stopped me again.
I looked back at them, anger gradually swirling inside me.
"How do we reach you?" My dad asked.

I passed my card that was always in my pocket in case of emergencies to them before I finally entered the car. But not before hearing a faint 'we love you' that make me freeze a bit before I shut the car door.

It's closure time I think...