Wish: A Hamilton Fanfiction

Chapter 1: In New York

I zipped up my suitcase, trying not to squeal. My entire life had just turned upside down. In exactly 15 hours, I would be in New York. Talk about dreams coming true. 

I went through the motions of getting ready for bed as quickly as I could. My heart was hammering in my chest. Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now was playing over and over in my brain. God, I was lucky. I would be among the few to arrive at rehearsal in a few days.

I'm going to meet them, I always told my mom. And finally I was not only meeting my idols, but also getting practice in the field I wanted to be in, at the same time.

The covers were warm and soft on my skin as I snuggled deep under them in an attempt to go to sleep. My mind was racing through a thousand thoughts a second. They were mostly good ones, but the insecurity still managed to creep in. 

What if they don't like me?

What if it turns out I'm a really bad actor?

What if I have no chemistry with the other actors?

What if  I can't find where to go?

What if everyone else is good at singing?

You ARE good at singing, I reminded myself.

But not as good as other people! I argued.

I have no vocal experience.

What if that hurts me?

I couldn't stop my brain from shaming me. Who was I to say that I deserved this? I was just a dumb girl from a suburb in the West, who wanted to be an actor but couldn't get any good parts. A girl who had no vocal experience. A girl who suddenly found herself with the biggest role she'd ever had in her career. 

Just

One

Girl.

STOP, I told myself. You are FINE. This was your idea, and look where it went. Now go to sleep so you can actually function tomorrow.

I tried not to roll my eyes at myself, but I still had to attempt to look normal tomorrow. With a sigh, I rolled over and closed my eyes.

The darkness was still there.

I tried. I really did.

I tried to shut out the darkness, shine a light on it, but it just grew. I fumbled for my phone and my earbuds, knowing only one thing could calm me down. The familiar Spotify logo filled my screen. Quickly, with shaking fingers, I turned on an album of Jasmine Cephas Jones'. Her incredible voice filled my ears and I immediately started to relax.

She was such a ray of light. I had discovered her music by accident and now used it to calm myself down whenever I needed to. Panic attacks, depression, she had helped me through it all. Now I settled back into my bed and tried to take deep breaths. 

With Jasmine's voice in my ears, I knew I could fall asleep. It only took a few moments before I was able to close my eyes and drift away.

***

I had hoped the beginning of a new chapter of my life would be going like it did in movies. But of course everything had already gone wrong that morning. I wasn't even sure what could be worse. My alarm hadn't gone off; instead, when I looked at the clock sleepily, I had seven minutes before I was supposed to leave. I threw on a pair of jeans and the first T-shirt that I could grab out of the drawers and rushed downstairs. My mom was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Mom?" I asked my dad. He shrugged.

"She had to deal with something at work," he responded.

"But she was driving me to the airport."

"Well, you know how work emergencies go."

"Can you drive me then?" I had to be there on time. If I missed this flight, what I had worked for would be over.

"No can do. I have to do things at home and then help the neighbors. Why don't you take the bus?" The bus. That sounded terrifying to do by myself but I didn't have much choice.

"How am I going to get there? The nearest stop is far away," I reminded him.

"I don't know. Listen, I have to get going. Ask the neighbors." And with that he turned and walked away. I managed to get to the bus stop on time and everything was going fine until-

Crash. The bus jerked to a stop. Confused mumbling came from every corner of the bus as people looked around frantically while checking their watches. The bus's intercom crackled to life.

"I'm sorry, but we are currently experiencing some difficulty. The bus has a small engine issue, we are going to attempt fixing it. If you would please sit tight, that would be greatly appreciated."

Someone stormed up to the front of the bus demanding to speak to the bus driver. I just sunk deeper into my seat and dug out my earbuds. It took all my willpower not to sing along with the Hamilton soundtrack, but I decided I didn't need anyone looking at me today. Just as the Schuyler sisters were being introduced, a loud whistle caught everyone's attention. Quickly I paused my music.

"Unfortunately, there has been an engine failure. Due to this failure, the bus will not be able to continue bringing you to the airport. Another bus will be arriving shortly." the bus driver announced from the front of the bus. 

I sighed. Something else, too? I doubted anything more could happen to make this day worse. I checked the time on my phone, hoping that we weren't delayed too much. It seemed like we were still on time.

"Hey, you." a voice said from behind me. Doubting that they were talking to me, I busied myself by pulling out a magazine. "You, girl." the same voice said, hitting the back of my seat.

"Uh, what do you want?" I asked nervously. 

"Do you have the time?" they asked, not unkindly. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Um, I do." I nodded before telling them the time.

"Thanks, man." they said. I just nodded before turning back to my reading. I busied my brain with reading about random, shallow things. It was all just superficial, but maybe the only way to stop my mind from racing. I didn't really care about what celebrities I had barely heard of were up to, or what was trending right now. However, I was determined not to have an anxiety attack today, and I was determined to keep that promise. 

Another bus pulled up next to ours, and we all filed out onto the side of the road. The driver was handing out suitcases from underneath our vehicle, and I claimed my big black suitcase before pulling it over to the next bus. I found a seat in the middle on the left side and waited. Pretty soon we were driving off to the airport. It didn't take long before the bus unloaded in front of the airport.

I wasn't stupid; I knew how to find my way around an airport. But since I was a minor, and especially since I was fourteen, I had to have some kind of guide who I was supposed to meet after security, at some information desk. Quickly I printed out my ticket, checked my bag and went through security before I found the desk I was supposed to be at.

"Excuse me?" I asked the person manning the desk. They looked up at me with a kind expression. "My name is Zoeyla Rodriguez, and I'm supposed to be meeting a docent here?"

"Okay, let me look you up, Ms. Rodriguez." they said politely. It took a couple minutes before I realized something could be wrong.

"Ms. Rodriguez, I'm sorry, but I do not see your name on my list."

a/n

this chapter has now been edited! i hope you are enjoying wish!