Wish: A Hamilton Fanfiction

Chapter 7: Fragments

when I was five my parents brought me to a local theater to watch a performance of matilda the musical. immediately, even though the storyline was familiar, I was entranced. from then on I knew that I would have a career in the arts. it was only a matter of time until I started reading out lines from the books I read, making up skits and performing them on the coffee table, listening to every musical I could get my hands on. creating my own dream casts, in which I was always my favorite character, was definitely my pastime. then one day my dreams slowly started coming true through-

ten years later I marveled at the list along my resume. it was definitely part of the reason I was able to get more jobs. everyone thought that having gotten to that point meant I was worthy of whatever they had to offer me. if I fit the part, it was mine. and it had been so useful that-

somewhere people were always told that showmances didn't survive. but somehow I thought this one might. all the sleepless nights, all the confusion, all the backlash I thought I'd face. the friends that had turned away, the awkwardness that ensued, the anxiety it caused me. all of it, every single moment, was worth it just to see their smile. there was nothing I wanted more. finally there was someone who made me feel like I mattered and I wondered how I'd gone so long without someone to love. honestly, just the most perfect person in the world,-

in second grade we did a project on where our names came from. everyone in elementary school would make fun of my name. hard to say, uncommon, assumptions about my ethnicity. but still I loved it. my mother told me that to her, zoeyla meant accepting and loving and she knew that I'd grow up to be both of those things. she's told me she's proud that I am but it's only because really I'm special. I can only be accepting and loving because I'm part of the places I accept-

how far I'd come since that program. how many hours I'd worked. it was absolutely exhausting and I wanted to give up almost all the time. sure it was my passion but it took too much blood, sweat and tears. the massive amount of times I'd cried alone in that borrowed room, and many more later on. the insane amount of work I put in to further advance my career, to make it possible for others. rehearsals every day, rehearsing late into the night, everything was so hard but I had to make it through. even through tripping on that stage several times, shedding blood from my own hands, all the work I had to put in to everything I'd done since then. but it paid off and here I was. the crowd was immense but I felt so comfortable standing in this district once again. I knew in a moment I'd make my debut but for the moment, everything was calm. then I took three steps forward and-

here.

now.

past.

present.

future. 

they all mix together and then where do you find yourself?

do the stars really align just for you?

how do you know things will turn out right?

we're all just wishing for a way to understand.

wishing for our dreams to be caught and taken and created.

wishing for a better world.

but do you really?

is it selfish to want your dreams to come true?

what if you don't think about others all the time?

are we all just searching for a way to wake up?

a/n

i'm not editing this one, it's very interesting

wow that was confusing :) you're welcomeeeeeee

i felt like writing a fragmented chapter of past/future/maybe present so there you go! 

i can't wait to see what theories you make out of this (the theories y'all totally had for me)

i'm so excited to see who really knows what's up (anyone? it's fine i'm kidding, love you all) 

again please comment your theories and reactions i wanna know what you have to say!

ilysm