Book 1. Finding A Way.

Reconciliation and heartbreak

The next morning.

Jim really thought a hot bath would have invigorated him but honestly it didn't do him any good; after what happened last night an argument broken out and his boyfriend had wanted to settle it with sex but the Irishman had categorically refused and had given him what was an ultimatum for him: talk to me or you will have nothing left. It was needless to say how the conversation ended and that had put Freddie in a bad mood enough not to let him sleep in bed with him.

-Well...I'll have to pull him out of bed now, murmured Jim to himself.

He walked to the bedroom and opened the door slowly, the dim light partially lit the room and he noticed that Freddie was awake, he had his arms crossed on the pillow and was half covered by the duvet.

-Are you letting me in, asked the Irishman softly.

A nod for agreement, he went to sit on the bed to the left of his boyfriend who didn't send him the slightest look.

-It's past 8 a.m, it is time for you to get up.

-Why would I get up when you put me in a bad mood, mumbled the singer with an irritated voice.

-Because I prevented you for having sex or because I wanted to know why you didn't want to confide in me?

The singer groaned plaintively and disappeared under the duvet, Jim shook his head with a sigh but that didn't stop him from insisting.

-You could at least tell me who were these guys last night, he said a little louder.

-Cowards who would have hurt you if I hadn't chased them away, he thought he heard from answer.

-So you're mad because you wanted to protect me, is that what you're telling me?

No aswer this time and Jim waited patiently for his boyfriend to come out under his sheet shell, it took at least two minutes then Freddie reemerged before explaining himself more calmly.

-Jim...have you never had remorse with your past?

-Well, there are things that I'm not proud of but I don't really have any regrets. Why are you asking me that?

-Know that I have in me a part of my past that I try to erase...because for me he's dead.

Freddie's voice was truly filled with sadness and vulnerability and his man put a hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

-Baby, when we met again you told me about your multiple relationships. Why this time would it be different, demanded Jim tenderly.

-Imagine that you experienced something terrible...something really terrible. Would you dare to tell those you love about it? Just so they'll take pity on you, finished the rockstar weakly.

His man was unable to respond to his request, it was an unanswered question since he had never experienced anything terrible or shameful. Jim looked down trying in vain to find his words until a touch on his forearm brought him back to reality.

-Dear, whispered the singer quietly.

Their eyes met and their hearts quickened as if they were connected by an invisible link; Freddie had that sweet meaningful look on his face and the Irishman understood right away what he wanted.

-You want a hug?

-Mmh, purred his boyfriend.

-Do you promise to get up after that?

-I promise, answered the singer with a nod.

Jim lay down next to him.

-Come here, he murmured giving him a sign.