Book 1. Finding A Way.

The cowards are always present

Friday 21 June

-Take in easy Felix I don't intend to take you home on my back, quipped the rockstar.

-Oh please I haven't been here for several days, I can take advantage of it!

-You won't come and cry and my shoulder after your wife yells at you.

-She's been yelling at me for 11 years, laughed the German. This is proof that we will spend our old days together!

Felix gave a slap a little too hard on Freddie's shoulder and this one almost spit out his beer, even Jim who had barely listened to the conversation remained stunned.

-Avoid dislocating his collarbone, he said kindly but firmly.

-It was not my intention, replied the other man more calmly.

-You know Felix you already gave me a slap tonight and honestly I may have tough skin, it hurt quite a bit.

Freddie laughed at this comment, delighted to see that his man got along better and better with Felix, after all that was the point. Since Peter and Joe had returned to London, he had arranged for the German to spend long days in their company and although as usual Jim had been reserved and distant he quickly recognized that Felix was very sympathetic. Loud and grueling but sympathetic.

-Hey baby when I think about it, why didn't you invite everyone else?

-I'm not in the mood for partying tonight, answered his boyfriend. Sometimes I need calm.

-Speaking of this Freddie...I'm worry about Andreas, murmured Felix with a sincerely worried voice.

The singer raising an eyebrow and buried his hand in his pocket.

-What do you mean worried? Did something happen to him?

-No I don't think so; but he becomes more and more discreet and as soon as I see him he seems disturbed all the time.

-He must surely be having a hard time, it happens to everyone and then I admit the last time I saw him that I was not very nice to him, said Freddie chewing his lower lip.

He took a cigarette and asked Jim to light it for him, if he always had a pack of cigarettes with him it wasn't the first time he had forgotten his lighter.

-Sometimes I have the feeling that it's me who is disturbing everything, everyone acted normally before I come into your life, sighed Jim.

-No don't say that darling, believe me there were already discords long before you arrived, replied the singer to comfort him.

-Sometimes I look at guys out of the corner of my eyes and that seems like reason enough to tell them "do you want to fight with me".

-It's one of the hard laws of fame, horny youngsters or machos compete vigorously for your favors and once you get caught they looks at you like you've betrayed them. Don't mind them Jim and then anyway I won't let anyone lay a hand on you, conclued the singer putting a hand on his right cheek.

Even if in this bar nobody batted an eyelid, it was mostly guys who frequented strip clubs that the Irishman had wanted to talk about. However he didn't want to speak directly to Freddie about it and then those who had accompanied them the one and last time weren't bad fellows, and despite this feeling of insecurity Jim greatly appreciated Munich. It was a very beautiful city and many of Freddie's acquaintances had welcomed him like an old friends, it was really heartwarming.

After a long time of having a few drinks the singer had become happily perky and had led his man on a small corner not far from their place; he wanted to be able to dance with him quietly and they go on of impromptu choreography with each new rhythm. What a pleasant surprise to see how much Jim had progressed and Freddie was raising the temperature with his ever more provocative movements, several times he deliberately unbalanced his man to try to kiss him.