The Guardian

Episode 4 Part 4: Equilibrium

In contrast to the last time he felt unsettled by Charlotte, Sidney did not spend all afternoon drinking at the Crown, although it was highly tempting. Instead, he decided to go for a swim to sober up and clear his head before making his way to Trafalgar House. Tom was relieved to see him when he arrived, but as soon as he heard that there was no good news from the banks, he returned to looking rather dispirited. Sidney wondered whether Charlotte had discovered anything more dubious in Tom's accounts for he was rather concerned from Tom's reaction that the situation was graver than Tom let on.

Sidney knew he probably should have gone to see Charlotte after what had happened with Georgiana and Otis, but he did not relish the thought of another argument and therefore decided to stay at Trafalgar House for the rest of the day. After dinner, Tom retired to his study claiming he had some business to attend to (although Sidney could not understand what that could be given the late hour) which left Sidney alone with Mary.

"Does Tom often work into the night?" Sidney asked her as Tom left the room.

"Yes quite often, especially since the idea of the Regatta. I couldn't tell you what he does in there though." Replied Mary. "Charlotte has been a God send. Do you know, she's been here pretty much everyday since you were last here? Tom has certainly been less frantic since she has been assisting him."

"I am glad you seem to have made friends with her, Mary."

"I must admit, I do like her very much. She is inherently good natured and she is great with the children. She certainly is a credit to you Sidney." Mary commented. Sidney didn't know what to say and so just forced a smile. "Have you seen Charlotte since you've been back?"

"Yes. I happened upon her on my way here." Sidney said and then quickly took a sip of his drink hoping Mary wouldn't ask him about it.

"She is looking a lot brighter, don't you think? Much more colour in her cheeks." Said Mary.

"Yes." Sidney said, taking another sip of drink for he did not think it appropriate to comment on her appearance, even if he did think she as looking very well indeed.

"Perhaps it has been good for her to have a task to do? She seems like the sort of person who thrives on being active."

Sidney chuckled. "Active is one word for it." He mumbled, but enough for Mary to hear.

Mary frowned at him. "Are things still a little difficult between you?" She asked.

Sidney sighed heavily. "She hates me." He said.

"Sidney, I know that's not true."

"Isn't it? If Charlotte doesn't hate me then she certainly doesn't trust me. She pretty much said as much."

Mary looked at him sympathetically. "Sidney, I know it cannot be easy being responsible for a young woman, for you are a young man yourself."

"I'm not that young."

Mary smiled. "No, but 'young' to be taking on this responsibility. I am sure Charlotte will trust you a little more once she gets to know you better."

"Perhaps." Sidney replied, knowing that Mary was right. He had wanted to keep his distance from Charlotte, but that seemed to make things harder. The fact was that Sidney had spent the last decade closing himself off to the world, and to now have to give something of himself to Charlotte would take courage. However, he didn't want to spend the next 18 months being miserable, and therefore he felt there was no other option, for how was Charlotte suppose to trust him if he didn't trust her with some information about himself? He would talk to her tomorrow, make amends and perhaps, if he was brave enough and there was the opportunity, share something about himself.