Lifeless

Chapter 15.

My Dear Cain,

I know I told you that I wouldn't write you. That I wouldn't be one of those women waiting by the mail box for a retun letter, but some things have happened in the past two years.

First off, I really miss you. These years have been lonely without you always by my side. I hope you are well and taking great care of yourself. Oh, please be careful Cain. I worry every day about you. Just please, be safe.

Next, I wanted to explain how much you really mean to me. You are the best man that anyone could come by. You were my first everything. My first kiss. The first and only person I had ever made love to. You always took care of me. I have realized that I was once a selfish girl. I asked so many things of you. Asking you to take my virginity was a selfish act on my part. Not only was I asking you to maybe throw our friendship away, if things went wrong. But I also asked you to give your virginity to me. I put you in between a rock and a hard place. I told you that it was either you or someone else. Of course you chose you. You made sure all the guys stayed away. I wasn't that naive, I knew how you threatened guys who got too close. You were always watching out for me. So of course, you made sure everything happened just perfect for me. I would apologize to you, but I can honestly say I can't. I can't apologize for something that was the best night of my life.

You will make a woman very happy Cain. I know you will. You will find true love, marry, and have children. I wish that woman could of been me. I think I just now realized this, but you see, I think somewhere along the way, I fell completely in love with you. It's funny if you think about it. Don't they say that a boy and girl can never be just friends? That somewhere along the way someone falls for the other? I guess what they say is true. It's a good thing I never realized it before now though, it probably would of ruined our friendship. Just know that I will always love you and you were the dearest friend that anyone could have. You made my life perfct. You were my savior so many time.

I paused in reading the letter and took a deep breath. I took a peak behind me to see she was still sleeping. I leaned down and places a small kiss on her forehead before continuing to read.

Now on to more passing matters. Both of my parents are dead. You see... They were murdered. I'm not allowed to tell anyone this. My life and others have been threatened. But I just can't keep it in. Maybe this is me being selfish again. But I just have to let it out. I promise it will be the last selfish thing I do.

I saw the whole thing. A man held my hands behind my back and watched as another brutally tortured and murdered them. I had to watch as one man held my father back and another raped my mom in front of both of us. So much happened in such a short amount of time that seemed to last for eternity. I can't get the pictures out of my head. They haunt me in my dreams, even in my every waking moment.

There were three men all together. There was only one man doing everything though. The others seemed to be there just in case. I don't know their names or even what they looked like. They all had on masks. But I remember his voice more than anything. It taunts me. Laughing. I know if I ever heard it again, I would know exactly who he was. The other two didn't talk.

He cut my parents in mutiple places. They begged me not to look, and I promise I tried so very hard Cain. But their screams, I couldn't take it, I looked. What I saw was heartbreaking. My parents were clinging to each other for dear life knowing that they were going to die. Even through all of the pain, they still held all of the love in their eyes. For that I am thankful. They held strong. They took the pain and not once did they beg for their lives. That made the main man mad though. He wanted them to beg. In the end, I couldn't recognize them anymore from all of the blood before he finally ended it, and slit both of their throats. They were able to tell me they loved me first though, and that they were sorry. Oh Cain, what would they be sorry for?

I am sorry this letter is such a mess. I can't help but shed a few stay tears. You should be proud of me though, I am holding strong. Well, at least I think I am.

This brings me to the hardest thing I am ever going to have to do. After they killed my parents, they turned to me. I was slumped in defeat, no longer fighting off the man who held me. I no longer had anymore tears I could cry, and my voice had left me from all of the screaming. How did no one hear us?

They told me that they were going to leave me alive, and they would make sure I wouldn't talk. They told me, if I did, they would kill the next most important people to me. I'm sure you can guess who that is.

They gave me what I call Terms and Conditions.

Conditions.

*I have to suffer living in the same house the murder happened in for the rest of my life.

*I have to stop communicating with people.

*I have to forever be alone.

*I can never tell a soul.

*Never stand out.

*Don't get close to you again.

Terms.

If I follow all of those, then you and your family stay alive. They will leave me alone too.

But I've come to not care about me. You and your family is all I have left Cain. I can't let anything happen to ya'll as well. So I'm going to ask you one more thing. I promise this will be the last.

Don't come home.

When you get out of the military, please don't return home. Your life means more than anything to me. Your family as well. If you don't return then there will never be a problem.
Please Cain. Don't come back.

And if you have to, don't talk to me. You can't. It could ruin everything.

I would move if I could, I promise. That way it wouldn't effect you, but that isn't an option. I'm sorry for what I am asking of you.

I've come to the realization that they will get away with murder. And I'm okay with that, if it means you get to continue living. I couldn't tell a soul if I wanted to anyways. I wouldn't trust anyone. Plus, they have a person working for them in the police station. He is a very smart man. I wouldn't ever doubt that.

Cain. Just stay away. Please!

I love you.

Forever yours,

Ally.

I set the letter down on the mattress and buried my head in my hands. I did the one thing I haven't done in four years. I cried. I cried for the woman who had been through so much and still managed to get up every morning. I cried for the girl that was no longer there. The carefree spirit and open mind. I cried for the loss she had to endure and the pain of having to see what no person should ever witness.

Once I controled myself, I laid down on the bed, and brought Ally to my side. I thought about the letter. If I would of gotten it two years ago, if I would of done what she asked. The answer was definitely. I would of, if it meant she stayed alive as well. I rolled to my side and snuggled my head into Ally's neck. Feeling tears well up again, I closed my eyes tight and willed myself to relax.

After awhile, I felt the bed move as I was drifting of to sleep. A small hand rubbed along my back soothing my worries away. "Sleep Cain. I'm not going anywhere."