"John you can't fix me just by loving me you know that." You sighed, running a hand through your hair.
Your boyfriend tried to wrap the wounds you had just inflicted on yourself. "I know I can't fix you but that doesn't mean I can't help you try to fix yourself honey."
"I just don't want to get in your way, you got the band and shit you can't bother with me." With a hard sniff from your nose, you wiped your finger under it. "Shit, my nose can't stop running."
His steady head let go of your newly wrapped wrist, giving it a kiss before handing you a tissue. "It doesn't matter the band isn't my whole life."
Bonzo was always understanding when it came to your self harm, even when he first caught you doing it. Oh how you sobbed when he first caught you, the guilt you felt was indescribable but he never judged you ever. The only thing he cared about was you feeling better and never doing it again. He knew he couldn't fix you, he knew could help you along the way. No matter how much you protested.
The nights he found you curled up on the floor of the shower, the blood slipping out of the cuts as the razor laid on the floor staining the white floor as the water beat upon it. He sighed, he hated seeing you like this. He wished he could help you fight your demons more than he already was. John knew him just being there for you and loving you did wonders but he still felt so helpless when he saw you struggle.
"John I can handle it, just let me do it." you pleaded, a paper towel soaked in blood was wrapped around your wrists. Frozen in your tracks, your mind couldn't tell your body what to do next. You just stood there in shock as he found you after doing something you didn't want him to know.
Grabbing a towel on the counter John quickly pulled the paper towel off your arm, he wrapped it in the towel. "Fucking hell Y/N, let me put better pressure on this. Sit down honey." Plopping down in a chair you held your head with the other hand as tears streamed down your face.
It finally hit you what your beloved new boyfriend has just seen, he walked in on you with blood dripping down your arm and onto the floor trying to tear a paper towel off the floor. The razor slipped out of your hand, hitting the floor hard as you stared at him.
You came back to present time as you heard John's soft voice talking to you.
"Honey I don't know why you'd ever want to do this with yourself, you don't have to tell me why that's fine. I'm just worried about you, I don't want to find you bleeding yourself to death one day. So please just take care of yourself Y/N, I love you so much. I know I can't cure you but I want to try and help you the best I can. You don't have to deal with this pain inside you on your own anymore." He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, his thumb softly brushed the tears off your cheek.
As you sat there after gripping on to Bonzo tightly, his hand rubbing circles on your back. You felt secure, you knew no matter what happened he would be there for you. He would always love you and that made everything out in the world but also in your mind seem a lot less scary.
A/N: if you have any problems please look into help and know you're worth every good thing this life has to offer no matter what
