Seek

Disease

"It's painful, isn't it? When you have that chance but the situation didn't allow you to get it..." 

*****

SING POINT OF VIEW

I slowly open my eyes. When I heard cried beside me. My heart clenched because I know who is. 

"Sing. Son.."

"M-mom." I looked around I'm still in the hotel room where I passed out.

"I told you! You can't just go anywhere alone. It's dangerous." I showed her a faint smile while my tears are slowly falling.

"M-mom... I know b-but I need to find him..." I saw the pain in my mom's eyes. The pain that I don't want to see in Khryz's eyes.

"Son, I lost your father because of sickness that y-you have right now. I don't want to lose you too." My body is weak but I reach my mom's hand and hold it tightly.

"B-but I don't want to lose Khryz too." She nodded and forced herself to smile at me. 

"Okay. I will l-let because I want you to be happy. But we will be going to fix everything first so that even that disease attacks you. You will able to know what y-you are going to do next." I nodded.  She kissed my forehead. "Or, do you want Mommy to stay with you.."

"N-no. I don't want. I don't want you to see me in that state." She laughed.

"Parehong-pareho kayo ng daddy mo. You're always selfless.." I shrug my head.

"I'm selfish... I hurt him—" Umiling ito at hinaplos ang buhok ko. 

"You hurt him because you don't want him to suffer like want happened to us when your d-dad died. It's not s-selfishness s-son." She wiped my tears away.

"If you are selfish. Unang amin palang ni Khryz sa 'yo umamin kana rin. But you chose to push him away to avoid hurting him too much. I-i'm really proud of you son. Y-you are the toughest person that I've known. Kaya hanapin mo s-s'ya hanggang kaya mo pa. You and him, deserve to be happy..." I slowly nodded.

"I-i want to go now to Italy m-mom."

"R-rest for a w-whi—" I tried to move even though my body is aching.

"M-mom every second is important. I don't want to stay here in bed." Kitang-kita ko ang hindi n'ya pagsang-ayon.

"Bu—"

"Sooner or later I will... P-please..." I can't even utter that word because it's breaking me and it's fearing me.

"P-please.." I begged. my chest was tight as I saw how pain flashed into my mother's eyes but she still force herself to smile. I'm sorry, Mom. I just want to fix everything before I...

"S-sure, son.."

KHRYZ'S POINT OF VIEW

"Wow..." The only word that I uttered when I saw the lake Prags of Italy. I'm riding a boat. It's so beautiful. I captured every scenery that I can. I'm sure my twin will be envious of it. It's been 2 months since I've stayed in Italy. I don't have any idea that I will stay here for long. I enjoyed every activity that I'm doing in this country that makes me stay.

"Sing, remember you said that if we go here together you will swim in this lake..." I said bitterly. After touring Prags lake I went back to my hotel to cry again. It's torture. Bakit pakiramdam ko habang tumatagal 'yong oras, araw na hindi ko siya nakikita lalo akong nahuhulog? Damn!

"I-i want to forget h-him, please. I want to move on..."

"I want to wake up one day. I am totally getting over from insane feeling.." Paulit-ulit kong pinunasan ang luha ko but it's not stopping. I grab my phone. And dialed his number.

"Hello—"

"Who are you?" Binaba  ko agad ang tawag ng marinig ang boses nito. My heart is racing. Napapikit ako.

"Calm down. That was only Sing.."Humigpit ang kapit sa cellphone ko. "Only sing.  The man you keep loving but the same man who's hurting you countless of times." They said love is the most special thing in this world but why that thing gives me so much pain that no one can ever imagine?

"S-sing you are the only one who's capable of hurting me like this." If pain is a kind of disease I am sure I'm inside the ICU right now fighting for my life.

SING POINT OF VIEW

"Excuse me. Do you ever see this guy?" I asked the man I'm in a boat.

"No man." I nodded. I took a deep sigh. It's been 3 months since but I cannot even find him. Pero hindi ako susuko. I need to find him. When the boat stopped. I step into the land and look for him. It takes an hour before I reached the village near the lake. I keep searching until my eyes caught a man smiling while capturing photos of the kids playing on the sidewalk. The bell in the near church rang. It's too loud. Sh*t.

"KHRYZ!" I run as I could to go to his place he was on the other side of the road. "KHRYZ!!" He looked around. I know he hears me. But in just a second he continues taking a picture of those kids. "KHRYZ—"

I feel a sudden impact on my legs. Natumba ako. People started to gather around me. Nakaramdam ako ng sakit sa legs ko. Agad bumaba ang nakabangga sa 'kin.

"Are you okay? You suddenly cross in the road." The man that owned the car that bumped me asked. I nodded and give him an apologetic smile.

"I-i'm okay. I'm s-sorry," I stood up. Without minding the pain and continue crossing the road but he's gone. I lost him again...

"Y-you're so stupid Sing!" I hissed to myself. I punched my legs that were hit by the car. It's painful but I don't care anymore. What pain me right now is  I lost him once again. Ayo'n na. He's only meters away from me but just because of my stupidity. I lost him once again.

"M-may sakit na nga a-ako. T-tanga tanga pa ako!" I hissed to myself and sat on the floor letting my tears again. I grab my phone but my hands began to shake which causes my phone to fall to the floor. And that moment I feel so scared again. I hated that I am like this. I'm scared of what will happen next

"Matagal ko ng tanggap but the moment Khryz say goodbye to me. I-i can't. Hindi pala ako handa. H-hindi pa. Ayoko pa. I-i want to hug him first. I want to apologize. I want to b-be with him. I want to tell him t-that..."

"B-before h-he fall for me. I-i've already fallen f-for him..."