Seek

Cold

"You, yes you, you are a fighter..."

"When you choose to stay even if it's tearing you apart believe me you are strong..."

"Pushing them away isn't cowardice. It is a form of love that not everyone can understand...."

******

KHRYZ'S POINT OF VIEW

"Are you okay, Sing?" I asked him. He nodded. He keeps looking out of the window of the plane. We are now going home. And still, Sing didn't remember everything or anything. I place my head on his shoulder.

"Don't be scared. I'm here." 

"Hmmm..." Iyo'n lang ang sinagot n'ya sa 'kin. When we landed at NAIA airport. All of our friends are waiting for us in the arrival area of the airport. They greeted us. I greeted them but Sing just stared at them. I saw how my twin and others' expression changed when Sing spoke with confusion.

"Who are you? Did I know you?" I smile at him.

"Sing this is our friends. This is my twin Kryp. His husband Ross. Then, Von, Lee and Torn, Neo and Gen. You're close to all of them." Dahan-dahan itong tumango at umiwas ng tingin.

"I want to go home." He said. I feel disappointed because he's too cold but I need to understand that he doesn't remember anything.

"Sure let's go," Ross said. When we reached Sing house. I talk to his mom for minutes.

"He can't remember anything, Tita." I saw sadness in his mom's eyes. "But don't worry, Tita. The important thing is he's still with us." She nodded.

"Sing. I will go home. I will visit you often." I kissed his forehead before I left.

"Are you okay Bal?" Kryp instantly asked me when I came back to the van. I shook my head. Everyone gives me a small encouraging smile.

"No. It's really difficult." With that, they hugged me. That makes me want to cry. Damn! It's hurt.

***

Time passed fast. It's been 1 month since we got home. And Sing's memories never came back. Every day he forgets everything. I saw how hard it was for his mom and for others especially for me.

"Sing you remember? You ditched our class just to go to Canada to buy new porn CDs." The room filled with laughter when Lee said that. We are in Sing's room. I'm with Lee and Von. We laughed but Sing remain his stoic expression.

"I don't remember." he dryly said.

"Tsk. Maybe this one you can remember. When we are in senior high you courted our math teacher beca—" Lee stop in the middle of his sentence when all of a sudden Sing yelled.

"I DON'T REMEMBER IT. STOP TELLING ME THOSE I DON'T REMEMBER." Sing shouted the makes us stunned. He's furious.

"S-sorry," Von said.

"Leave me alone. I don't remember everything. It's f*cking blank. And it's hurting my head. LEAVE." In the end, Lee and Von have no choice but to leave.

"Sing, you don't need to push them away. I know that it is difficult for you—" He cut me off.

"You don't know. You don't know how it feels that you don't remember anything. And I feel f*cking useless because kahit anong gawin n'yo pagpapalala sa 'kin wala akong maalala." He gives me a cold stare. Parang binalot nang lamig ang pagkatao ko. I'm losing him. I'm losing Sing. "You never understand me—" This time I am the one who cut his words.