Seek

Metanoia

(n.) the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life. 

"You are my home..." 

KRHYZ'S POINT OF VIEW.

"SING!" I gasped as I woke up. Automatic my tears trickled down as I remember that dream. My heart is throbbing. "P-panaginip lang."  I looked around nasa airport parin ako. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa passport ko at plane ticket papuntang Hawaii. I checked the time. It is almost time. I stood up and hold my luggage. 

"This is the final boarding call for passengers booked on flight 143A to Hawaii. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for passengers booked on flight 143A to Hawaii. Thank you." That's my cue but it seems my feet have their mind. Hindi ko maihakbang ang paa ko papunta sa boarding area. 

"D-damn, Sing. You already decided. H-hindi pwedeng dahil lang sa panaginip na 'yon bibigay ka." I hissed to myself trying to convince myself but I failed. 5 minutes passed I was just staring nowhere fighting with myself. "Khryz what are you doing?" I asked myself. Defeatedly, I sit down in the waiting area. Tears aren't stopping. I didn't mind those eyes looking at me. All I know my heart is in pain. From that strange dream. I can't imagine my life without Sing. That made me scared so much that makes me turn back to my plan and go to him to check on him. 

"Tangina, Sing! What did you do to me!? Ang sakit-sakit mong mahalin. Dahil lang sa panaginip nanghina ako nang ganito. Why do I love you so much?" Napatingala ako nang may magtapat sa 'kin ng panyo. Napasinghap ako nang makita ang pamilyar na mukha. The kid in my dream. "Franze." Sing and I kid in that dream. 

The kid's forehead knitted. "Mister, how do you know my name po?" Fuck what's happening? Waking up from that dream made me feel weird. Lalo akong napaiyak. God, what's happening?

"Hey, mister. Don't cry po." Siya na mismong nagpunas ng luha ko. My heart pounded as I feel his palm on my face. Feeling his warm makes me melt. Tangina panaginip lang 'yon pero bakit ganito? "Why are you crying po? Did someone hurt you?" Wala sa sarili akong napatango. 

"Y-yes, that person hurts me many times but I still love that person. I planned to leave and forget that person but it seems like fate doesn't want me. Here I am crying because I don't know what to do." 

Franze nods and acted like thinking. "Maybe that person po is worth the pain. Mister sabi po sa 'kin ni Dada if you don't know what to do in terms of love. Follow your heart. If your heart still wants that person then go to him. Alam niyo po ba si Dada ganyang-ganyan tulad niyo dahil kay Daddy. My dada always crying at night. I once asked him why he didn't just let go of Daddy and he said to me. He wants to do it but his heart doesn't allow him. He said he knows he deserves better but for him, there's nothing more better than Daddy. And he said he'll just wait until his heart gets tired. But look at us now?" 

He point somewhere and as I looked in the direction I saw a couple looking at us with a smile. May buhat pang baby na babae ang isa sa kanila. "We are happy more than happy po. Dada said. It might hurt like hell right now but the universe is listening to us. We need just be patient and ibibigay din po sa 'tin ang para sa 'tin. Wag na po ikaw mag-cry." Hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko I gently pulled him into a hug. 

"T-thank you..." I gulped. "Son," Hindi nagtagal nagpaalam na ito dahil flight na nila papuntang Japan. I was left with Franze's words. I grab my phone and dialed my twin's number. 

"He-" I didn't let him finish his word.

"Hindi ko pala kaya, Bal." Rinig ko ang buntong hininga ni Kryp.